Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Disapproving Faces

There is a fact of life that took me a long time to accept. Namely, not everyone in your life will like you. I know. I am not liked by certain people, and they like to let me know this by the way they look at me. That "disapproving look". That, "Is she for real"? look. That, "Hmm, I don't trust her" look. I have no real idea why certain people do this, but this I know....I am blissfully uncaring of the opinion of other people. In fact, what other people think of me is absolutely none of my business anyway! To live one's life completely unbothered by the good opinion of other people is the way to go, and it took me thirty years to feel this way. Call it getting older, call it tolerance, or call it enlightenment, but don't take what others think personally, whatever you do. Don't let it take you thirty years to get this. It's best to just let people be, opinions and all.

If truth be known, someone else's opinion of us has to do with their own state of mind and heart, and that, my friend, is a very private issue. What is this thing about women (and men too) that wants everyone to "like" us? We want to be accepted among our tribe, we want to be popular, we want to be respected. I LOVE when people love me! Who doesn't? It's human to feel good when we are being adored. But enter the people that try our patience, then we're not so happy, and enter the people who don't like us, and we are truly confounded. I look for the beauty and goodness in everyone, yet I find most days to be a study of the human beast, and a course in the complexities of human nature. Most days I am amused, delighted, enthralled, fascinated...and confused. Are they placed in our lives for a reason? If you have read my blog before you will know I'm a big believer in things, people and situations being placed in our life for a purpose. A purpose that will lead you out of your pain, your befuddlement, and definitely test your ability to transcend all that causes strife. People are the best teachers, they are our mirrors. Does someone's treatment of you make you sad, mad or crazy? Then look within. Does someone's precious love and care and concern make you feel wonderful? Then still, look within. My goal in this life is to not let what others do, positive or negative, change how I feel about myself. I don't want to let another's opinion, again, positive or negative, dictate my outlook. I want to feel positive about myself irregardless of what someone thinks of me.

We are meant to be in community with each other, absolutely, and I do believe that we are put together with those individuals that will force us to grow. Either that, or we are just running around bumping into one another and simultaneously being overjoyed, or pissed off. I like to think of humankind as a rock tumbler. Put us all together and what happens? We definitely will bump into each other, but that's how rocks get smooth. They bump and grind (sorry, I don't mean THAT...lol) in order to hone the edges. It's the friction, if you will, that makes us polished. So, next time someone doesn't like you, for whatever reason....and please realize, maybe they are just having a bad day....think of it as a way to smooth your edges. It gets your attention, doesn't it? That feeling of unrest between people, that air of friction we've all felt from time to time, sometimes you can cut the air with a knife when it's happening. It's their stuff though. Always was. And it's your stuff too. And it's mine. But it's for a reason....so when you're not getting caught up in another's drama, or opinion, take the time to polish up your act. We're all just doing the best we can with who we are and what we currently know. So lighten up on yourself when someone acts as if they don't like you. I say a silent "Thank You" for yet another opportunity to practice non-attachment. It's a good thing.

Here's a big smile from me to you....I like you a lot....but my opinion really doesn't matter. Like yourself first, love yourself most, and it won't matter what anyone says or does or thinks....or what the expression is on their face. Approve of yourself, overlook human nature, and then move on.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart.


Monday, March 14, 2011

Let This Be Our Response

We wake up everyday to bad news in our world. The devastation in Japan is overwhelming, beyond anything most of us can imagine. The feeling of helplessness in the face of such a disaster is common. Really, what can I do here in my little world, a part of the world that hasn't experienced anything nearly as catastrophic? Sending money is easy, writing a check is basic. Can I actually go to Japan and physically help? No. Can I wipe the tears away from a mother who has lost everything near and dear to her heart? Can I bring her child back? Can I rebuild her home? No, no, and again, no. So what can I do? I pray. I meditate. Simply. Openly. And with as much love as I can hold and send forth out of my heart and into the hearts of everyone affected. Does it make me feel better? Yes. Does it really help? I have to believe that in some way it does. I have to believe that at the moment my loving energy goes out into the world, it meets up with a struggling heart calling out for help. Maybe a moment of calm comes over them. Maybe a sense of hope takes over. Maybe not. I really don't know if I can affect something so tragic just by sending my love. But this I know.....

I can live my life here and now as kind as possible. I can shift my focus onto the positive and away from the negative images, the 24/7 news coverage, and the grim predictions. I can lend my life to what is beautiful and good and true. I can help locally if I am asked. I can physically lend a hand to someone in need here and now....in Lexington, Kentucky. If I sit and feel sad and watch the news over and over again as they incessantly replay every devastating scene of destruction, then I am allowing myself to get sucked up into the drama. Turning away from the bad news is not heartless. Yes, it may provide a certain self-preservation, but it will keep my energy level at a higher place, at a freer level where I can do more good in sending out prayer and intention, instead of just letting the chaos take over.

I would never presume to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do in this life, but for me I have found that simply by turning away from the grimness of our world, I am better able to catch onto the good that is being done, here and now. This is where I live. How may I serve here? Leonard Bernstein said it beautifully: "This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before". Let your passion for whatever it is you do be your response to violence, terror, disasters. And I would venture to paraphrase here further and say...."Let this be my response to tragedy: to love deeper, to be kinder, to serve my fellow man more devotedly then ever before". Who knows what good could come of it? Who knows indeed what blessings may come to those who are reaching out in fear and desperation? God forbid I ever have to endure such a disaster in my lifetime, but if I do, I will know I am not alone. We are never alone. And that is my prayer this day. May they know they are not alone. May all that is good and right in this world transcend all that is wrong.

May they be lifted up. Truly, no man is an island. Bless the men, women and children of Japan this day and from now on. Amen.

Until next time...blessings upon your heart


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Coming Back To Center

We all do it. We spin off in our own directions and try our best to keep pace with what's happening around us, then all of a sudden you feel that "off" feeling, the one that says you need to slow down and come back to your starting point again. My starting point is while I'm still in bed, it's still dark, the birds have just begun to chirp, it's before I have to get up so I stretch and feel glad to have a body that carries me beautifully through my days. I silently ask how I may serve this day, I ask to be led to where I need to be, presented with the people that I need to see, and I ask for peace of mind and a calm demeanor to sit upon my brow. Most days I see this unfold before me, some days I don't. I hit the door running the other morning, and I didn't stop until late that night. I honestly didn't sit down, other then driving, for the entire day. It was less then a stellar day for a few reasons.....I didn't take the time to center myself and align my day with the governing force that is always available to me, and, I was trying to get someone to do something I needed them to do (ex issues here....and a totally futile waste of time) when what I really needed to do was ask for the ability to go with the flow, give up the outcome, seek the creative answer instead of the one I thought should happen. Thou shalt not should on thyself. Will I ever learn?

I've written a lot lately about "Stillpoints" and "Higher Vibrations" (I have to laugh, a Facebook friend asked me the other day...."Higher Vibration? What the hell does THAT mean?), but it all comes down to my needing to keep a firm grasp on the calm center of my being.....my same friend will undoubtedly ask me what this means as well! (I love you darlin'....ask away!) When I give my day over to the Greater Good, meaning I give up my preconceived ideas for whatever it is I'm meant to be experiencing, my day then just seems to flow. Synchonicity begins to happen everywhere, but only when I get myself out of my own way. We are good at being our own stumbling blocks, and I can say this authority, and not just for myself, but for many others who tell me how their day just falls apart when they begin to manipulate it according to their own agenda. I have a daytimer, I write in it all the time, I'd be lost without it, but I don't let it control my life. I take premeditated action daily, I have appointments to keep, appointments to make, I have places to be at a certain time....this is all fine, but the sense of self importance that can attach itself to these things is what I am trying to quiet. It's easy when life is going good to think we somehow control it. We don't, babe. We ride the wave, sometimes gracefully, sometimes clumsily, but the idea is to flow with the currents, skim the problems, try to take ourselves lightly, and stay open to the ebb and flow that is our daily life.

What is it that centers you? Do you have rituals you follow? A practice of some sort? How do you rebound when you hit that wall that forces you to slow down? Do you hit the floor running or do you glide through your day? I think I look much better when I glide, when I have a certain air about me that is graceful, when I can say, "Oh well" when something doesn't quite work like I thought it would. This allows me to stay centered which makes for a much more productive and enjoyable day. Funny thing, when something doesn't work out like I thought it would, and for me this can mean cancellations with clients, a sick child, someone not keeping their end of a bargain, I can always expect a better outcome when I give that moment over to the Greater Good. Instead of feeling frustrated, I just practice saying, "Lets see where this leads". When you stay open to the flow, good things can get in and take over. This has happened too many times for me to not believe that within a single day there are miracles to witness and better outcomes to savor then anything we can imagine. Try it next time something goes "wrong". Give it up and over, then watch what happens. At least you will stay calm, and this will affect your face, your attitude, your walk and talk....and you will shine. People will want to know what your beauty secret is, what vitamins do you take, what is it that you know that makes you stay on top of it all. Seriously, staying centered is a magical ingredient to one's life....and it's free....and it doesn't take a lot of time....and you will glow with an air of confidence and peace.

Come back to your center....it's here waiting for you.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart