Friday, December 30, 2011

New Year's Intentions

I don't make resolutions. Never have. What I have to come to realize as a much more powerful route to realizing the manifestation of my desires is simple intention. It's a subtle shift in focus. To be resolute means to will something into submission, to resolve to make something happen, it entails a certain amount of force and/or willpower. Intention, on the other hand, is gentle, direct, and moves with lightening speed. To intend something is a simple act, and acting "as if" you already have what you desire is how you create the next moment of your life, and the next, and the next week, and the next month, and so on. "Thoughts become things", so only focus on what you you intend to have.

I intend to let go of what I think my life should look like....and I intend to stop should-ing all over myself, as well! I intend to be of service to others, I intend to support myself and my child on my own, I intend to become all I am capable of becoming irregardless of money, resources, people, or circumstances.

I intend to have a forever home, once and for all, and I intend it will be everything I want in a home. I intend to have only nurturing, supportive people in my life. I intend to facilitate healing in others and in myself, and I intend to move through my life with much more grace. I intend to touch the lives of people I meet, and on a deeper level then anything superficial and fleeting. And I intend to stand in my glory.

So what are your intentions? What are your deepest desires? Do you dare give them wings? Are you up to the challenge that lies ahead to finally say, "This year is my year"? Are you willing to look at things from a different viewpoint, a different perspective? Are you willing to give up your preconceived notions about how you think your life should look? Are you willing to become harder or softer this new year? Are you willing to yield up to a higher/inner power? Are you ready to jump? If not, peace be upon your struggling heart, for year after year I have stood petrified of the cliff that was before me, and whether I jumped, or was pushed, I landed on my feet. I can truly thank every experience in my life for bringing me to this moment, here, now, on this blog, in my life, right where I am....and contemplating another jump. All we ever have is now,so live it fully. There are no dress rehearsals for the stage we are thrust upon, so may you live every moment of your life this year, and with complete abandon!

And just how will you create your next moment? What is it you long for? What does your inner, all-knowing, beautiful self urge you to do? Write it down. Yield it up, with open hands and open heart, and say...."Yes" to your life! Finally.

And so it is.....Namaste

Until next time....blessings upon your heart....and may blessings crown your days

Cindy

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Happy Christmas, one and all. It's a choice...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY FRIENDS!

This says it best:

"I salute you. I am your friend and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not. But there is much, that while I cannot give, you can take. No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven! No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instance. Take peace! The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. Take joy! Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty . . . that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven. Courage then to claim it, that is all! . . . And so I greet you, with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you, now and forever, the day breaks and the shadows flee away".

"Letter to a Friend" by Fra Giovanni, 1513

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Friday, December 16, 2011

An Inner Christmas

I would love to draw your attention to a website for just a moment: www.theinnerchristmasmovie.com. This is a soft place to land during this busy holiday season. You will receive the gift of twelve days of quiet exploration into the heart of the matter....and into what really matters. Be sure to watch the "Inner Christmas" movie that tells you just what this is all about. It's only purpose is to bless and comfort you.

I don't know about you, but I prefer the days after Christmas. When many are feeling a "let-down" of sorts, I am just starting the best part of Christmas, in my humble opinion. It's time to go within and ask, ponder, consider, and dream. It's a quiet thing. It's a gift you give yourself. And you get to revel in it for twelve days and nights!

These are the gifts I give myself during this sacred time of year: If there is snow....a moonlit walk, or an early morning just standing in the pristine whiteness of newly fallen snow... and I listen, I listen deeply, I listen till I hear my own heartbeat, till I can hear the squirrels nibbling at the peanut butter covered pine cones hanging in the trees. I listen, and breathe, and worship the morning. My church is the canopy of trees in my yard. My sacred temple is the shroud of clouds and fog that accompany such still moments. If there is fog I have discovered I can see clearly right into my heart. It makes me feel safe from prying eyes, safe from views that distract, and safe to disappear for a while into the realm where I am enough, as I am, free from expectations, free from obligations, free from my own chatter to be up and out and doing something inane. If there is sun I let my body soak in the warmth and enjoy the late afternoon rays, although weaker, nonetheless precious to me and my cats as they stretch out and instinctively know to be "in the moment". No, this time of year, these sacred and reverent days that follow Christmas are the most dear to me. The personal epiphanies that occur are your own inner voice speaking to you like a tender lover. Getting quiet each morning and evening allows you to become your own healer, your own guide, your own best friend.

To strip down to the essential self, to get a glimpse of all you can be, and, of who you are right now, without judgment or fear, is the gift I seek the most, and one that I embrace each and every stark, cold, barren Winter season. The veil is thinner during these days, and the connection between earth and sky, sun and moon, is so close during this time that it feeds me on a level that not only enriches me, but benefits all who come into contact with me. For to come from a place of balance, a place of deep breathing and alignment with cosmic forces, allows me to be a better listener, a better supporter, a better friend, and very simply....a better woman all the way a round.

So, if you are inclined, explore this beautiful site and give yourself the one thing you may not receive under your tree this year.....the gift of becoming quiet long enough that you grasp the glorious being that is you.

Until next time.....blessings upon your heart.

*And may your holidays be wonderful, may you be touched in a way that nourishes you deeply and blesses you permanently*.

Cindy

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Blindsided?

I lost my job last Monday. Or rather, I was "released" from my position as a massage therapist for no good reason other then sheer, undiluted greed and a pure lack of ethics. Just like that, I was told I was no longer needed. "Goodbye, get your things, you can go now, see ya...oh, and have a Merry Christmas"! Just like that, no lie. GOBSMACKED!

As a co-worker helped me get my things to my car, she expressed her mutual shock and dismay and disgust for these employers, (employers that had made her a shell of the woman she used to be), then she hugged me, and I drove away. I was shaking slightly. I wanted to cry, I thought I should cry, I attempted earnestly to cry....but I couldn't! I must be in total shock, I thought, it hasn't sunk in yet. But what came over me was a sense of relief. My shoulders began to relax, they were back down where they belonged, about six inches below my ears. I put on Christmas carols, and I drove back home with a lighter heart and felt hopeful! Wow!

You see, I had just been relieved from a very toxic situation. A job that no longer served, not only me, but many of the patients that had come to us to be helped, treated, and served fairly. There was the initial "honeymoon" phase of the job, and for awhile everything was great! Then the insidious work of compromise started in and I fell prey. I looked the other way at my employer's practices that were wrong, tactics that were unethical, and I had to bolster myself each and everyday as I went to work just to buffer the negativity that was swirling around me and infecting everyone else who worked for them. I knew I was working for the wrong kind of people, the wrong kind of atmosphere and mentality, and it was keeping each and every one of us down. We were being micromanaged by people that had no clue how to manage at all, and we were angry and belittled all the time. I stayed because I thought I needed this job, monetarily I did, but I knew I needed out, and each and everyday there were signs and wonders that pointed me to the door. But I looked the other way, I clenched my teeth and I went about the business of compensating, justifying, and thinking I couldn't do better. I was a single mom after all, this was my make or break year after a very painful divorce. It was Christmas for goodness sake! I had bills to pay!

But the Universe had other plans for me. We learn through wisdom, or we learn through pain. And the choice is always ours. But by God, we learn!

Knowing my life is on a spiritual path, I somehow felt I would be alright. I knew I was being upheld by unseen forces. I knew I had been booted out of something that I didn't have the sense to rectify by exiting earlier. To say a mantel of peace came over me would be a little dramatic and overblown, but I did feel a sense of purpose was pulling me into another direction, and I felt okay with it. No panic overtook me that day, and for that I am forever grateful.

Okay now....walk the walk, babe.....you talk the talk, now walk the walk. The net was there, all I had to do was leap! I got home and I called a contact I had made a couple of months earlier back in October. Yes, the discontent was present then, that's why I met with a lady that was looking for what I specialized in, and was wanting to offer me a position that I foolishly turned down. I left her a message that I had found myself suddenly free and was wondering if she was still was interested in me. Not two hours later I got the most enthusiastic call from the most lovely and loving voice on the other side of phone. "I have been thinking of you", she said. "I am thrilled you called"! "Can you come in and see me"? Yes, I told her, tomorrow, absolutely! Last Tuesday I got hired on the spot and in a beautiful and convenient location, and in a place that is far nicer that what I had known, and for more money per hour than I had hoped to make in the former position.

Now this all happened so suddenly my head was spinning! All I knew was I needed to walk forward into my life. I could have stayed home and eaten chocolate and cried and pittied myself last Monday, and who could have blamed me....but I kept moving. Who knows what unforeseen forces were at work last October? The seeds we plant, the people we meet, the things we are drawn to do....who knows what good may come of them? Please do not ignore the urgings of your heart and mind. I cannot emphasize this enough. And when they don't make sense to you at the time....this is a clue you are on the right path! Just do it! Knock on the doors that seem closed. Follow through with meetings, shake hands genuinely, send a thank you note or place a call to express thanks for someone taking the time to visit with you. You never know what good may come of it! This is your innate and intelligent self guiding you to a better place. As I look back over the last six months, I could see all the parallels to my former life where I sold out and stayed stuck in a marriage that no longer served me...or anyone else. I was following the same damn route, the compromising, the looking the other way, the loss of your self-esteem...none of this was lost on me now. Wow! I thought I knew better. I thought I knew how to recognize when to say, "Enough"! Humbled again beyond words, and with a fully aware heart and mind I said "thank you" out loud to the employers that so ruthlessly released me from a position that was hurting me. I reached for the brass ring this time, and I pulled it straight down into my hand and squealed with delight! I sort of felt there were champagne corks going off in heaven! A host of angels were saying....."She's a little slow, but when she gets it....she gets it"!

So the point I want to make is this....don't give in, and don't give up, and don't panic when things go south. While I admit the most inopportune time to lose a job would be in December, please keep moving in a forward direction if this has happened to you. *And if you do lose a job or if you have recently lost a job, I bid you peace upon your stricken heart, right now, at this moment* Reframe the loss to mean that you are simply placed on a new path now. There are unseen forces at work in our lives, and we can tap into this at any time, and with full assurance that our intentions will create just the right path for us. If the path seems to take a direction that you don't think fits your idea of where you want to go....still follow it! This is key. This is important, friends. Follow where you are led to follow and don't question, don't sabotage what just may be a whole new life, job, relationship, etc. just waiting for you! It's funny how this works, but it does!

My new job will take a little time to get built up to where I need to be financially, I will need to build a base and new clientele, and January and February might be a little lean.....but I am completely confident that I will be provided for. Right now I am looking around at how much I have, how blessed I am, and how loved I am by my family, my man, and by a benevolent Universe. And it's enough. It's abundance in it's best form! And I will be alright. And so will you!

Until next time....blessings upon your heart.

Cindy

Thursday, December 1, 2011

In This Season Of Excess...

"Let not your heart be troubled". If you are starting to feel the pressure of the holidays, read on. I've always found that to be such an odd phrase,though...."the pressure of the holidays". Holidays are supposed to be fun, aren't they? Parties! Visitors! Family and friends! Presents! Presents! PRESENTS! Oh wait, no pressure there, right? Take a deep breath...

In spite of myself I still feel the occasional panic when I think of the holidays. And now that I'm on my own, money is the potential panic button here. I've learned in years past the value of paring down the excesses in my life, but that came after I learned some lessons and saw my own desperate need to fill my life with "stuff". There was a time when I never had to think of money. It was just there. I didn't even need to keep track of spending in my checking account. Money was just always there. I became a little irresponsible in this area. While never becoming a total spendthrift, I just had the assurance that no matter what was needed, no matter the holiday, I could go and shop! There were the necessities the holidays bring, (especially if you host a party, and we did, oh how we did!), but I always felt they were in reason and necessary....but still done with a sense of obligation, with a need "keep up" with what our friends were doing, and I saw our Christmases grow grander and grander in scale each year because of it. *And as a little side note here, as my marriage began it's slow decline, the "stuff" under the tree got to be more and more...a bandaid on my bleeding soul, really* The year I saw just how much was under the tree, and we're talking no leg room was to be found in our living room, the "stuff" came out that far from under the tree, I just stood there that Christmas Eve in 2009 and felt a definite twinge of "Oh God, what have we done....and why"? That was the year I started to reassess my life, and come January I began the paring down phase. That February was when I became suddenly on my own....so, good timing, I'd say!

If truth be known, your loved ones simply want your time. They want your love. They want your hugs and kisses. Simple, really. They want the gift of you. But let me say here, there is nothing wrong with gifts, I love to get a present, who doesn't? But I would urge the exploration of why we buy presents. Many times in this current culture of ours, bombarded with commercial ads telling us about everything we need, making us feel like we're not complete without the newest whiz bang gizmo, I would suggest to stop and consider if the gift is from your heart. Is it bought with intention and forethought? Did you take the time to consider the value and meaning behind the gift? So many times we buy out of boredom, or our own unhappiness with our life. Same goes for overeating. There is a disconnect that happens when we seek validation and worth through money, food, and excitement. Is it true joy behind the things we do, or just a bandaid for our discontent?

Here's some of the things I have found as wonderful substitutes for the need to buy "stuff". Do you have a passion for creating art or crafts? Do you love baking? Are you a fabulous cook? What are your talents, and who would benefit from the gift of your time in sharing these talents with friends and family, who would truly be touched by the simple gift of you? I would much rather spend money on ingredients and supplies to create a gift for someone instead of buying a gift out at a store. That's just me, and if you feel someone would love a special gift from a department store, then by all means, buy it, give it with love and watch their faces glow. It's all good. I simply feel that we sometimes tend to buy out of obligation, or guilt, or because, well, it's expected! This is where the stress comes, I think. Expectations. Theirs, ours, and society. Maybe we can take a second look at the lists we make? Is it possible to look over your list and check it twice? Not supplying all the gifts you have supplied before may rankle some folks, but they'll get over it if you explain you are focusing on the deeper meaning of Christmas....whatever that means to you. I think an evening spent with family or friends at home is a wonderful gift. Set the mood, light candles (something I must have in my home and what I buy with complete abandon....it's the lovely light they cast, the calming atmosphere they create....so, it's about choice and what's meaningful to you). Play some music, create an evening of joy, simplicity, show love for your friends buy preparing simple food, play some games, laugh....lighten up, let people know the gift of your time and your home allows them a place where they can come and just be themselves. No pressure. An evening like that will be long remembered, trust me. Another thing we love to do is sponsor a family. I like to set aside a certain amount of money and show my children the value of reaching out to others less fortunate. The first purchases we make in December go for other folks, and it's a very fun afternoon spent collecting items together that we know will be used and enjoyed. The greatest joy comes from giving and blessing others. There are small ways to contribute if you are unable to buy for a family. Look into contributing to a fund, or supplying small items. It all adds up. I am always greatly moved when there is a story on the news of people banding together to help someone else. In great and small ways, there is always an opportunity to share your love and compassion.

When an atmosphere of abundance gets rolling....the abundance that comes from your heart....you are setting the stage for even more abundance to come flowing into your life. When we realize we are here to give, to bless, and to serve, everything that supports that kind of giving will appear.....and that kind of gifting will long surpass the fleeting excitement of ripping open a box wrapped in pretty paper. But again, and please know I am not against store bought gifts, it's the intention behind the giving that I am concerned with. There can be great joy and satisfaction in wrapping a present! It's a pleasurable experience to spend an evening wrapping gifts. Choosing the paper, the ribbon, making something look beautiful. It's all good. I just like to reexamine, for my own life, the point and purpose behind the things I do at the holidays. Maybe you will too, maybe you'll find a way to take the stress off yourself, to reset your priorities, or maybe you'll find a whole new way to give from your heart and home.

However you choose to celebrate, I wish you a blessed December! Take a deep breath and let your heart be light. Hold those you love close to you. In opening yourself to the greater possibilities there are for giving, you'll find that your best "gift guide" comes from a calmer and more meaningful place. And that's true joy...

Until next time....blessings upon you heart

Cindy