Friday, December 30, 2011

New Year's Intentions

I don't make resolutions. Never have. What I have to come to realize as a much more powerful route to realizing the manifestation of my desires is simple intention. It's a subtle shift in focus. To be resolute means to will something into submission, to resolve to make something happen, it entails a certain amount of force and/or willpower. Intention, on the other hand, is gentle, direct, and moves with lightening speed. To intend something is a simple act, and acting "as if" you already have what you desire is how you create the next moment of your life, and the next, and the next week, and the next month, and so on. "Thoughts become things", so only focus on what you you intend to have.

I intend to let go of what I think my life should look like....and I intend to stop should-ing all over myself, as well! I intend to be of service to others, I intend to support myself and my child on my own, I intend to become all I am capable of becoming irregardless of money, resources, people, or circumstances.

I intend to have a forever home, once and for all, and I intend it will be everything I want in a home. I intend to have only nurturing, supportive people in my life. I intend to facilitate healing in others and in myself, and I intend to move through my life with much more grace. I intend to touch the lives of people I meet, and on a deeper level then anything superficial and fleeting. And I intend to stand in my glory.

So what are your intentions? What are your deepest desires? Do you dare give them wings? Are you up to the challenge that lies ahead to finally say, "This year is my year"? Are you willing to look at things from a different viewpoint, a different perspective? Are you willing to give up your preconceived notions about how you think your life should look? Are you willing to become harder or softer this new year? Are you willing to yield up to a higher/inner power? Are you ready to jump? If not, peace be upon your struggling heart, for year after year I have stood petrified of the cliff that was before me, and whether I jumped, or was pushed, I landed on my feet. I can truly thank every experience in my life for bringing me to this moment, here, now, on this blog, in my life, right where I am....and contemplating another jump. All we ever have is now,so live it fully. There are no dress rehearsals for the stage we are thrust upon, so may you live every moment of your life this year, and with complete abandon!

And just how will you create your next moment? What is it you long for? What does your inner, all-knowing, beautiful self urge you to do? Write it down. Yield it up, with open hands and open heart, and say...."Yes" to your life! Finally.

And so it is.....Namaste

Until next time....blessings upon your heart....and may blessings crown your days

Cindy

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Happy Christmas, one and all. It's a choice...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY FRIENDS!

This says it best:

"I salute you. I am your friend and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not. But there is much, that while I cannot give, you can take. No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven! No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instance. Take peace! The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. Take joy! Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty . . . that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven. Courage then to claim it, that is all! . . . And so I greet you, with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you, now and forever, the day breaks and the shadows flee away".

"Letter to a Friend" by Fra Giovanni, 1513

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Friday, December 16, 2011

An Inner Christmas

I would love to draw your attention to a website for just a moment: www.theinnerchristmasmovie.com. This is a soft place to land during this busy holiday season. You will receive the gift of twelve days of quiet exploration into the heart of the matter....and into what really matters. Be sure to watch the "Inner Christmas" movie that tells you just what this is all about. It's only purpose is to bless and comfort you.

I don't know about you, but I prefer the days after Christmas. When many are feeling a "let-down" of sorts, I am just starting the best part of Christmas, in my humble opinion. It's time to go within and ask, ponder, consider, and dream. It's a quiet thing. It's a gift you give yourself. And you get to revel in it for twelve days and nights!

These are the gifts I give myself during this sacred time of year: If there is snow....a moonlit walk, or an early morning just standing in the pristine whiteness of newly fallen snow... and I listen, I listen deeply, I listen till I hear my own heartbeat, till I can hear the squirrels nibbling at the peanut butter covered pine cones hanging in the trees. I listen, and breathe, and worship the morning. My church is the canopy of trees in my yard. My sacred temple is the shroud of clouds and fog that accompany such still moments. If there is fog I have discovered I can see clearly right into my heart. It makes me feel safe from prying eyes, safe from views that distract, and safe to disappear for a while into the realm where I am enough, as I am, free from expectations, free from obligations, free from my own chatter to be up and out and doing something inane. If there is sun I let my body soak in the warmth and enjoy the late afternoon rays, although weaker, nonetheless precious to me and my cats as they stretch out and instinctively know to be "in the moment". No, this time of year, these sacred and reverent days that follow Christmas are the most dear to me. The personal epiphanies that occur are your own inner voice speaking to you like a tender lover. Getting quiet each morning and evening allows you to become your own healer, your own guide, your own best friend.

To strip down to the essential self, to get a glimpse of all you can be, and, of who you are right now, without judgment or fear, is the gift I seek the most, and one that I embrace each and every stark, cold, barren Winter season. The veil is thinner during these days, and the connection between earth and sky, sun and moon, is so close during this time that it feeds me on a level that not only enriches me, but benefits all who come into contact with me. For to come from a place of balance, a place of deep breathing and alignment with cosmic forces, allows me to be a better listener, a better supporter, a better friend, and very simply....a better woman all the way a round.

So, if you are inclined, explore this beautiful site and give yourself the one thing you may not receive under your tree this year.....the gift of becoming quiet long enough that you grasp the glorious being that is you.

Until next time.....blessings upon your heart.

*And may your holidays be wonderful, may you be touched in a way that nourishes you deeply and blesses you permanently*.

Cindy

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Blindsided?

I lost my job last Monday. Or rather, I was "released" from my position as a massage therapist for no good reason other then sheer, undiluted greed and a pure lack of ethics. Just like that, I was told I was no longer needed. "Goodbye, get your things, you can go now, see ya...oh, and have a Merry Christmas"! Just like that, no lie. GOBSMACKED!

As a co-worker helped me get my things to my car, she expressed her mutual shock and dismay and disgust for these employers, (employers that had made her a shell of the woman she used to be), then she hugged me, and I drove away. I was shaking slightly. I wanted to cry, I thought I should cry, I attempted earnestly to cry....but I couldn't! I must be in total shock, I thought, it hasn't sunk in yet. But what came over me was a sense of relief. My shoulders began to relax, they were back down where they belonged, about six inches below my ears. I put on Christmas carols, and I drove back home with a lighter heart and felt hopeful! Wow!

You see, I had just been relieved from a very toxic situation. A job that no longer served, not only me, but many of the patients that had come to us to be helped, treated, and served fairly. There was the initial "honeymoon" phase of the job, and for awhile everything was great! Then the insidious work of compromise started in and I fell prey. I looked the other way at my employer's practices that were wrong, tactics that were unethical, and I had to bolster myself each and everyday as I went to work just to buffer the negativity that was swirling around me and infecting everyone else who worked for them. I knew I was working for the wrong kind of people, the wrong kind of atmosphere and mentality, and it was keeping each and every one of us down. We were being micromanaged by people that had no clue how to manage at all, and we were angry and belittled all the time. I stayed because I thought I needed this job, monetarily I did, but I knew I needed out, and each and everyday there were signs and wonders that pointed me to the door. But I looked the other way, I clenched my teeth and I went about the business of compensating, justifying, and thinking I couldn't do better. I was a single mom after all, this was my make or break year after a very painful divorce. It was Christmas for goodness sake! I had bills to pay!

But the Universe had other plans for me. We learn through wisdom, or we learn through pain. And the choice is always ours. But by God, we learn!

Knowing my life is on a spiritual path, I somehow felt I would be alright. I knew I was being upheld by unseen forces. I knew I had been booted out of something that I didn't have the sense to rectify by exiting earlier. To say a mantel of peace came over me would be a little dramatic and overblown, but I did feel a sense of purpose was pulling me into another direction, and I felt okay with it. No panic overtook me that day, and for that I am forever grateful.

Okay now....walk the walk, babe.....you talk the talk, now walk the walk. The net was there, all I had to do was leap! I got home and I called a contact I had made a couple of months earlier back in October. Yes, the discontent was present then, that's why I met with a lady that was looking for what I specialized in, and was wanting to offer me a position that I foolishly turned down. I left her a message that I had found myself suddenly free and was wondering if she was still was interested in me. Not two hours later I got the most enthusiastic call from the most lovely and loving voice on the other side of phone. "I have been thinking of you", she said. "I am thrilled you called"! "Can you come in and see me"? Yes, I told her, tomorrow, absolutely! Last Tuesday I got hired on the spot and in a beautiful and convenient location, and in a place that is far nicer that what I had known, and for more money per hour than I had hoped to make in the former position.

Now this all happened so suddenly my head was spinning! All I knew was I needed to walk forward into my life. I could have stayed home and eaten chocolate and cried and pittied myself last Monday, and who could have blamed me....but I kept moving. Who knows what unforeseen forces were at work last October? The seeds we plant, the people we meet, the things we are drawn to do....who knows what good may come of them? Please do not ignore the urgings of your heart and mind. I cannot emphasize this enough. And when they don't make sense to you at the time....this is a clue you are on the right path! Just do it! Knock on the doors that seem closed. Follow through with meetings, shake hands genuinely, send a thank you note or place a call to express thanks for someone taking the time to visit with you. You never know what good may come of it! This is your innate and intelligent self guiding you to a better place. As I look back over the last six months, I could see all the parallels to my former life where I sold out and stayed stuck in a marriage that no longer served me...or anyone else. I was following the same damn route, the compromising, the looking the other way, the loss of your self-esteem...none of this was lost on me now. Wow! I thought I knew better. I thought I knew how to recognize when to say, "Enough"! Humbled again beyond words, and with a fully aware heart and mind I said "thank you" out loud to the employers that so ruthlessly released me from a position that was hurting me. I reached for the brass ring this time, and I pulled it straight down into my hand and squealed with delight! I sort of felt there were champagne corks going off in heaven! A host of angels were saying....."She's a little slow, but when she gets it....she gets it"!

So the point I want to make is this....don't give in, and don't give up, and don't panic when things go south. While I admit the most inopportune time to lose a job would be in December, please keep moving in a forward direction if this has happened to you. *And if you do lose a job or if you have recently lost a job, I bid you peace upon your stricken heart, right now, at this moment* Reframe the loss to mean that you are simply placed on a new path now. There are unseen forces at work in our lives, and we can tap into this at any time, and with full assurance that our intentions will create just the right path for us. If the path seems to take a direction that you don't think fits your idea of where you want to go....still follow it! This is key. This is important, friends. Follow where you are led to follow and don't question, don't sabotage what just may be a whole new life, job, relationship, etc. just waiting for you! It's funny how this works, but it does!

My new job will take a little time to get built up to where I need to be financially, I will need to build a base and new clientele, and January and February might be a little lean.....but I am completely confident that I will be provided for. Right now I am looking around at how much I have, how blessed I am, and how loved I am by my family, my man, and by a benevolent Universe. And it's enough. It's abundance in it's best form! And I will be alright. And so will you!

Until next time....blessings upon your heart.

Cindy

Thursday, December 1, 2011

In This Season Of Excess...

"Let not your heart be troubled". If you are starting to feel the pressure of the holidays, read on. I've always found that to be such an odd phrase,though...."the pressure of the holidays". Holidays are supposed to be fun, aren't they? Parties! Visitors! Family and friends! Presents! Presents! PRESENTS! Oh wait, no pressure there, right? Take a deep breath...

In spite of myself I still feel the occasional panic when I think of the holidays. And now that I'm on my own, money is the potential panic button here. I've learned in years past the value of paring down the excesses in my life, but that came after I learned some lessons and saw my own desperate need to fill my life with "stuff". There was a time when I never had to think of money. It was just there. I didn't even need to keep track of spending in my checking account. Money was just always there. I became a little irresponsible in this area. While never becoming a total spendthrift, I just had the assurance that no matter what was needed, no matter the holiday, I could go and shop! There were the necessities the holidays bring, (especially if you host a party, and we did, oh how we did!), but I always felt they were in reason and necessary....but still done with a sense of obligation, with a need "keep up" with what our friends were doing, and I saw our Christmases grow grander and grander in scale each year because of it. *And as a little side note here, as my marriage began it's slow decline, the "stuff" under the tree got to be more and more...a bandaid on my bleeding soul, really* The year I saw just how much was under the tree, and we're talking no leg room was to be found in our living room, the "stuff" came out that far from under the tree, I just stood there that Christmas Eve in 2009 and felt a definite twinge of "Oh God, what have we done....and why"? That was the year I started to reassess my life, and come January I began the paring down phase. That February was when I became suddenly on my own....so, good timing, I'd say!

If truth be known, your loved ones simply want your time. They want your love. They want your hugs and kisses. Simple, really. They want the gift of you. But let me say here, there is nothing wrong with gifts, I love to get a present, who doesn't? But I would urge the exploration of why we buy presents. Many times in this current culture of ours, bombarded with commercial ads telling us about everything we need, making us feel like we're not complete without the newest whiz bang gizmo, I would suggest to stop and consider if the gift is from your heart. Is it bought with intention and forethought? Did you take the time to consider the value and meaning behind the gift? So many times we buy out of boredom, or our own unhappiness with our life. Same goes for overeating. There is a disconnect that happens when we seek validation and worth through money, food, and excitement. Is it true joy behind the things we do, or just a bandaid for our discontent?

Here's some of the things I have found as wonderful substitutes for the need to buy "stuff". Do you have a passion for creating art or crafts? Do you love baking? Are you a fabulous cook? What are your talents, and who would benefit from the gift of your time in sharing these talents with friends and family, who would truly be touched by the simple gift of you? I would much rather spend money on ingredients and supplies to create a gift for someone instead of buying a gift out at a store. That's just me, and if you feel someone would love a special gift from a department store, then by all means, buy it, give it with love and watch their faces glow. It's all good. I simply feel that we sometimes tend to buy out of obligation, or guilt, or because, well, it's expected! This is where the stress comes, I think. Expectations. Theirs, ours, and society. Maybe we can take a second look at the lists we make? Is it possible to look over your list and check it twice? Not supplying all the gifts you have supplied before may rankle some folks, but they'll get over it if you explain you are focusing on the deeper meaning of Christmas....whatever that means to you. I think an evening spent with family or friends at home is a wonderful gift. Set the mood, light candles (something I must have in my home and what I buy with complete abandon....it's the lovely light they cast, the calming atmosphere they create....so, it's about choice and what's meaningful to you). Play some music, create an evening of joy, simplicity, show love for your friends buy preparing simple food, play some games, laugh....lighten up, let people know the gift of your time and your home allows them a place where they can come and just be themselves. No pressure. An evening like that will be long remembered, trust me. Another thing we love to do is sponsor a family. I like to set aside a certain amount of money and show my children the value of reaching out to others less fortunate. The first purchases we make in December go for other folks, and it's a very fun afternoon spent collecting items together that we know will be used and enjoyed. The greatest joy comes from giving and blessing others. There are small ways to contribute if you are unable to buy for a family. Look into contributing to a fund, or supplying small items. It all adds up. I am always greatly moved when there is a story on the news of people banding together to help someone else. In great and small ways, there is always an opportunity to share your love and compassion.

When an atmosphere of abundance gets rolling....the abundance that comes from your heart....you are setting the stage for even more abundance to come flowing into your life. When we realize we are here to give, to bless, and to serve, everything that supports that kind of giving will appear.....and that kind of gifting will long surpass the fleeting excitement of ripping open a box wrapped in pretty paper. But again, and please know I am not against store bought gifts, it's the intention behind the giving that I am concerned with. There can be great joy and satisfaction in wrapping a present! It's a pleasurable experience to spend an evening wrapping gifts. Choosing the paper, the ribbon, making something look beautiful. It's all good. I just like to reexamine, for my own life, the point and purpose behind the things I do at the holidays. Maybe you will too, maybe you'll find a way to take the stress off yourself, to reset your priorities, or maybe you'll find a whole new way to give from your heart and home.

However you choose to celebrate, I wish you a blessed December! Take a deep breath and let your heart be light. Hold those you love close to you. In opening yourself to the greater possibilities there are for giving, you'll find that your best "gift guide" comes from a calmer and more meaningful place. And that's true joy...

Until next time....blessings upon you heart

Cindy

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A Blessed Thanksgiving To All

I wish each and every one of you a very happy, safe, and blessed Thanksgiving!

If the only prayer we ever utter from our lips is "Thank You"...it will be enough.

You are enough. You are all you need. You are loved more then you know!

Be well...Be content...Be you

And until next time...blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Friday, November 18, 2011

With A Grateful Heart

Another year is coming to a close and with it comes a time of reflection for many. The stark barren trees and landscape can lend itself to moments of sadness, a bereft feeling, as if something is dying inside. This can also yield great moments of enlightenment as well. As the year ends is there anything you can actually let die within you? Perhaps regret, the loss of a former way of life, or despair? As the leaves fall I am always struck how the trees don't try to hold onto them. They simply, gently, let go and fall to the ground, and that's that. Within the stark contrast of a once vibrant tree now lies a secret life within. The tree is sleeping for a while, rejuvenating itself, doing it's inner work so it may once again burst forth with new life. The lessons here are not lost on me. Dying to the old so you may once again break forth with freshness and vitality is a beautiful process to behold. Do not fear letting go of that which no longer serves you. For the faint of heart, standing open and vulnerable and naked can be a daunting thought. But we are not the faint of heart. We are strong and we seek the lessons in this life. You have what it takes to be vulnerable, to be stripped of things, places, people, if necessary....and if they do not serve your highest good. Only you know what's holding you back, or who is holding you back. Maybe you are in your own way. That happens a lot. I know, believe me, I know.

I like to think of the late Fall as an internal gathering time. A time to wrap around yourself all the things that truly comfort you. When you take good self-care many things come to the surface that are no longer needed. Many thoughts about the past tend to surface, memories of childhood, holidays spent a certain way, voices and echoes from somewhere deep in that landscape that is our soul. I love to have an evening to myself to reflect, to nurture, to allow all that needs to be thought of, and considered, the cordial invitation to make their appearance. A grateful heart comes into play here. To feel gratitude for every experience that has come our way over the last year is to signal the Universe that you are ready for more abundance in your life. Even the difficult times are a reason to be thankful, because when seen through the lens of 20/20 hindsight many times we see the difficulty got us to where we are now. It somehow moved you to a new place, a different viewpoint, or if you are still reeling from a troublesome event, maybe you can decide to let it go, here, now, and in the safety and nurture of your own home. Start by creating a haven for yourself, a corner, a comfortable chair, a place where you can relax. Sip something warm and delicious, put on something soft and loose. Even in the most modest of homes this can be done. And you're worth it. Maybe within your own sacred space you can find the courage to let it go. Nothing new can come to a closed heart and mind, and a tight closed grasp on something just hurts your hand.....and nothing new can replace it. To say "thank you" is a powerful thing, yet I wouldn't expect someone to utter those words when something horrible has happened, but I would urge them to reframe the event, view it from a perspective that says, "I am willing to find the blessing, I am willing to not let this define me", and "I am willing and ready to lay down the burden of holding onto the pain". Let it die within you. You have new work to begin.

It is with a grateful heart that I can look back over the course of the year and say a sincere "Thank You". It hasn't been easy at times, I have cried with anguish over the things I couldn't control, things that I felt were holding me back, things that didn't turn out as "planned". I have felt the fear a new life can bring....but I felt it anyway, and I kept moving forward.....and I said "thank you" for every unhindered step I took. The more you express gratitude, the more it becomes second nature.

So it is with a grateful heart that I say "Thank you" for every experience, person, place, or thing that crossed my path this last year. I see clearly within myself the places where I still need to let go, the things that I still need to let die within me. If truth be told, the late Fall in all it's stark glory is my most favorite time of year. I adore the Spring and Summer, I adore the colors of October....but the late Fall brings me the most growth as a human being, as a mother, a life partner, a friend....and as a woman.

I am deeply grateful for all of you that have found your way to this blog, for the wonderful comments and encouragement I have received both here, and in person. A deep gassho, a humble Namaste and a sincere "thank you" from my lips to your hearts.

In gratitude.....and until next time


Cindy

Monday, October 24, 2011

It's Been Awhile

I've been away from my blog for almost six weeks. Life happened and it took my focus away. I had all the pretty colored balls in the air, juggling them perfectly, not dropping a single one, then, my child got very sick. As she recovered from pneumonia, I got sick. Very sick. I was exhausted and my immune system must have been taking a beating for awhile. I don't normally get sick and that's something I have prided myself in for a long time. But I got sick, and I spent time resisting being sick until I couldn't muster the strength to ignore what was happening to me. But as I finally gave in to the thought that I might actually have to slow down a bit and take the time to get well, it dawned on me what a blessing it all was! It was time for me to be sick. Everything in it's season, a time for everything under the sun. So, I told myself as I lay on my bed unable to move...."Cindy, just give in to it, get down to the business of being sick and do it right". So I had to miss work for a whole week. I had to ignore the fact that I had patients waiting on me. I had to give up the fear that if I missed work for a week, what would that do to my income for the month? I had to fully realize that a bright light was being cast on me so I could see that I had run myself into the ground trying to be all things to all people. This was sobering, even through a fever I could see that everything I write about, live (most of the time) and tell others was something I had ignored. Take care of yourself. Slow down. Just be. Let it go. Take your vitamins. Drink your tea. Do your yoga. Pray. Meditate. Go within. Ha! The voices were laughing at me now. The Universe will get your attention one way or another.

Time to be sick

I've been there before. I've resisted and struggled against the need to listen to my body. Going through my divorce, back in the early days of it all, I got really sick. Mind, body, spirit. I went through a death of sorts.....a long and languishing one, too. I thought I had learned back then the value of giving into the moment, giving into what life was presenting to me at the time. Well, yes and no.....I overcame that whole period of my life with flying colors, so I guess it seemed I now needed a refresher course! I had slowly ignored the urgings to dial it back a bit, take more time for myself, eat well, get enough sleep, give more of my life over to a Benevolent Power that upholds me. I had forgotten that it's humble to say....."I need help", "I can't do all of this by myself anymore", "I am not a Superwoman". I've heard it said that when life is going well, we forget to spend a little time on our knees. I have seen proof positive that in surrendering my life to a Higher Power, one that knows better then I do what needs to be done and how to do it, everything just flows beautifully. But then my mistake was to get up off my knees and carry on like it was all a piece of cake. I'd get myself into a jam, or a problem would arise, and back I'd go to the figurative position of bowing to a power that could help me. On my knees, off my knees, on my knees, off my knees. When I was sick, I heard something say to me, "Cindy, why don't you just stay on your knees"? Okay, it was getting through my thick feverish brain that maybe I felt a little too triumphant and powerful and on top of it all for my own good. After that realization I then fell into a deep sleep, a healing sleep. After a visit to the doctor and some necessary anti-biotics (very thankful for all the good meds out there....grateful and humbled at their power and place in out lives) I started to feel very thankful for the time off from work, for the sweet care and concern I received once I actually let people know how sick I was, and for the comfort and refuge I had in my home. I had spent the last few months rushing around too much, a little too arrogant that I had it all under control, that I could do anything. The woman cracked, her armor failed, and down she went.....but it's a good place to find yourself from time to time.

So, I'm back. Still needing more sleep then usual, still feeling the need to slow down, but I'm listening this time. I am taking thr time to fully recover. It took a lot out of me and I'm putting the time and attention back into me that I deserve. So therein lies the lesson and the point to this blog post: Listen to your life. It's talking to you all the time. There is a voice that guides us and tells us what we need to do. And remember, we are never too big and powerful to be humbled and laid low. Are you pushing that voice down right now that's saying to you....."Take some time for yourself"? "Ask for help"? "Get some sleep"? Pay attention to it. It's your compass. It's your lifeline. It loves you!

Be well, live carefully, and please, ask when you need help.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart.

Cindy

Sunday, September 11, 2011

September 11, 2001

Many candles glow tonight.

Many hearts are still aching....

May those who mourn, be comforted. May those who rage, be soothed. May those who intend harm, be changed.

Namaste

Cindy

Sunday, August 28, 2011

For The Love Of A Dog

My beagle has been a woman's best friend. Her name is Bayley and I've had her since she was seven weeks old. I was seven months pregnant with my little girl when I saw her in the pet store window in Lubbock, Texas on my birthday in July of '03. It was love at first sight, especially when I saw a little boy squeezing her and starting to give her a shake. I rushed in all belly and hormones and as politely as I could muster (it was also a hundred and five degrees outside and I wasn't thrilled when I woke up that morning) I said I was buying her. Three hundred and fifty dollars went on the credit card without blinking twice, and I walked out cuddling the most adorable snub-nosed baby beagle I had ever seen or held in my life. She was mine. Immediately the nay-sayers in life said I was crazy to take on a puppy when I was pregnant and about to give birth to a baby that would take over my life. Yeah maybe, but that's how I've always rolled, simply acting on a strong voice in my head that says, "Do it". Texas summers are brutal, and a West Texas summer is hellacious. The night time temperature cooled to about 75 or 80 degrees, so when I found I couldn't sleep from the heat and my rather uncomfortable size, I would go out onto the patio and take Bayley with me. She would romp in the yard at 3am while I would fervently wish for a breeze to come along. It worked out well, this set-up of ours, she would be wide awake at 3am and so would I, so outside we went for about an hour. She would tire herself out and I would be ready to lie down again and try to sleep. For the two months it took to get to my delivery date to have my daughter, Bayley and I had a nice routine, and in two months she calmed down enough and adapted enough that she started to sleep all night through.....(not so for my baby girl when she came along, but that's another story and another blog). Bayley fit right into our family, and did I mention that we already had two other dogs? Yes, I know....crazy.

Bayley and the other two dogs loved to vacation with us. We traveled to the Rockies almost yearly, and later on when we moved to Kentucky, we spent summer vacation on Lake Superior. Bayley loved to go with us. We would board the two big dogs and take her with us. She was never any trouble, and we adored her. Moving to Kentucky was quite the adventure, hauling three dogs and five cats a thousand miles in three days to make Lexington, Kentucky our new home. It was a career move for my then husband, the university professor. Bayley loved her life because I was a stay-at-home mom till my little girl started kindergarten. I always raised my girls like that, I got to be home with them and to take care of our house, our pets, my husband and our whole life. Wow, pretty tall order now that I look back. But life changed last year in a big way. Our family was abandoned and left to pick up the pieces. I have written extensively about this whole ordeal when this was a divorce blog, so no need to rehash a single thing here, other then to say that pets get the short end of the stick when life falls apart. I have spent the last year and a half taking care of Bayley and my five cats in a small rented home. The oldest dog passed away a few months before life hit the fan, and the other big dog we had, Annie, was placed into foster care because I was not allowed more then one dog in my new home. So I downsized in living space, pets and my sense of belonging. I learned to manage, although very stressfully, over these last eighteen months. But, here I am today....it's Sunday, August 28th 2011 and I am waiting for a family to come and take Bayley away to a new life in Ohio. I never would have imagined being in this situation, giving up a beloved pet, but you see, Bayley's life has become small over the last year. Very small. I needed to get out and work or starve, and Bayley needed to be crated on a daily basis, sometimes for twelve to sixteen hours at a time. I had no other choice and no one was willing to help me with her, everyone had their own life, troubles, etc.,etc. Forget the ex....yes, let's forget him. So I was doing the best I could under the circumstances. It was increasingly clear that Bayley needed a better home then I could give her. She needed a family, kids, other dogs, room to romp, and I couldn't do that for her anymore. So began a series of calls, emails, Facebook posts, and much pleading for someone to step up and take her as their own. Thankfully, and due to the big hearts of dear friends, and one very special friend in particular, I was put in touch with a family that is on their way to my home as I type.

Bayley is going to her new home this afternoon. What else could I do but sit here, blinded by tears at times, and pound away on these keys? She is laying in the recliner across the room, breathing contentedly and raising an eye every now and then to check on me. We've spent today playing with her, bathing her, cutting her nails, and generally excepting what is about to happen. I'm giving my baby away. This is my last gift to her.....to have a home with people that will love her, people who are devoted animal lovers, people who have beautiful property and a big fenced yard and two kids eager to have Bayley come home to them tonight. I can do this. I can do this because I love her more then my stubborn will that says I can manage no matter what. I simply can't, and I am making Bayley's life better by giving her up. There is guilt, there is anger at having to even deal with this because of what was thrust upon me last year, and it's something that is cracking me wide open....yet again.

So, for anyone who has ever loved and lost a dog, you can imagine how I feel. To anyone who has ever known a bond and a kinship with an animal, you know how I feel. And to anyone who may read this post, please, send me a good thought or two, a silent prayer for balance, harmony, ease of transition. My heart is breaking, but even this is going to turn into a blessing.

And that's the point to this post, bottom line, no matter what is going on there is a blessing within the pain. This is all I can offer up today....wait for the blessing....it will come.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart. And mine. And Bayley's.

Cindy

Sunday, August 21, 2011

For All The Difficult People (may I be truly grateful)

They've got to be here for a reason. All the difficult, exasperating people that show up in life. At least that's how I choose to think about it. Nothing like a lovely day that's sailing along smoothly, even joyously, and then, pow, someone turns on you. So, if we are capable of drawing to ourselves certain events, emotions, life experiences, then we are capable of bringing to the forefront the ones that we need to help us get to that next level. For fear of sounding too deep, let me just say, I think when we are ready to learn how to cease being jerked around by other people's problems, is exactly when those same people enter the picture. Vividly. If I'm clear that I've done nothing to instigate a verbal assault, then I have to believe this person in front of me, trying my patience, is here to teach me something. "When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear".....and it's not going to be some kindly, sage old soul.....it's going to be them. Just imagine if we could get to the point where it didn't matter what was said, or who did what to whom, we would be able to rest easy in the knowledge that we are so secure within ourselves (ah yes, it's an inside job) that we could sail through our life unaffected by someone else's drama. Drama loves to suck you in....like a good movie. A little trick of mine is to project the scene in front of me onto an imaginary screen and view it third person. Aren't we all good at looking into someone else's life and seeing exactly what needs to be said and done? Treat it like that. Impersonalize it. Yes, that's hard, I know, especially when what's coming at you is being said personally to you. But try it. Like anything that's worth being proficient with, it takes practice.

Next time your day is going along as you like it, the sun is shining, you're smiling, and all of a sudden someone brings their little black cloud and hangs it over your head, take a brief moment to say, "thank you". Just think of how it will be when it won't have the power to disrupt your flow, and if it does, the rebound period will be much shorter as you regain your balance and poise. What a gift that would be and what a skill to have! And the perfect people are waiting to teach us how to do it. I love it when people love me, there is nothing hard in that, it's lovely and I have much of that in my life, but typically when I need to move to the next level of peace, something will occur that will push me to it, or make me falter. And I don't like to falter, so I don't choose to stay gobsmacked for very long. It's not comfortable, or natural. Peace is natural. Peace flows like a river, over the big boulders placed in it's path. It flows around them. If there is a dip or a hole, it fills it up and spills over and keeps going. It keeps flowing with a grace and a power that is unstoppable. Yes, I look for metaphors in everything. It's kind of fun. It keeps me lighthearted.

Next time someone dumps on you, take a sidestep....be the river, (and I'm not suggesting you endure abuse, verbal or otherwise, no!), because even if you have to take action to remove yourself from their presence, do it, just don't hang onto the darkness the moment can stain you with.

A silent "thank you", a sidestep, a direct refusal to allow any mistreatment, a vision of flowing water....any and all of these can be done without you losing your poise, and they can propel you on. Just be the river, and keep your peace.

For this and the many lessons I am given everyday, I am truly thankful.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Friday, August 12, 2011

When We Cry

....angels attend us. I need to believe there is a Divine love that supports grief. Tears are the outward depth of our love, our anguish, our humanness. I know I could never get through this life without the knowledge that I'm being upheld by a source and power greater then myself. In my greatest pain I have felt the unseen. When I fight the flow of life, everything goes wrong. When I go with it, it leads me to greater things, opportunities, people, events.....completely unimaginable good comes into my existence. In the meantime, in the wee hours of the morning, in my silence and aloneness and doubt, I sometimes cry. Trusting a source to carry us through does not come without doubt. Trusting that life knows how to take care of us better then we do does not come without tears. Feel the fear (pain, sadness, anger), and do it anyway, and after you have cried all the sacred tears you have within you, you will have allowed a space to open up where you can now be on the receiving end of bliss.

Within my day in day out struggles I have a deep faith that despite all the outward toilsome annoyances, everything will work out. Whatever your highest sense of good is for you, there is a way to attain it. Flowing with life, even when it's tough, is the way to higher ground. You will be sustained. The tears and stress will reveal your tender heart, because under all the exterior stuff, we are good and kind and decent people. And your tears are sacred, never forget that.

I'll leave you with this...one of my favorite quotes:

"Maybe one day we'll grow weary of whining and celebrate the rain, the manna, the half-filled glass of water, the little gifts from heaven that make each day bearable. Instead of cloaking ourselves in the armor of pessimism, maybe we'll concede that we are who we are: capricious, fortunate, wonderful, delicate, alive. Forgiven" Mark Collins....

But if you need to cry.....cry. Let it wash you clean. Then gently move on.

Until next time....blessings upon your sweet heart

Cindy



Monday, August 8, 2011

Laying Down The Burden

Lay your burdens down on the alter of your personal faith, whatever that may be. Just lay them down, gently. They were never yours to begin with, so offer them the space to go back where they came from. This life is full of burden, no one needs to drive that home with any of us. The burden other people try to inflict on us will try the hardiest soul. Then there's the burden of too much . Too much sorrow. Too much stress. Too much mental unrest. Too much stuff.

It's all too much. I know....

My life gets to be too much at times. Too much juggling and balancing and rushing about to get it all done. In the last two days I have felt within my body the urgent need to lay down the burden of this life, if only for a little while, and if I decide to pick it up again I know it will have lessened in it's demand. When it's all too much, just lay it down. Da Vinci said when you are stuck, when you have lost your inspiration, your will...walk away. Leave it for three days. Something magical about the number three....the holy trinity of restoration. Coming back with fresh eyes will make it all appear more logical. The dizzying madness of too much will have dissipated. If tempers have flared, three days gives everyone a chance to regain their composure. Yesterday, the world came a little too close for comfort. Demands, false expectations, unsavory people, fear, heartbreak. My back hurt me in a way I haven't experienced in years. I was emotional, fought back tears all day. My tear ducts were near to overflowing with too much. When the emotions get too big....the body weeps.

Last night as I sat with my beloved out on the deck, there was a storm brewing up. Far off lightening illuminating the distant clouds. The air heavy with promise. The night sounds were a symphony surrounding us in comfort. This kind of quiet Himself and I share is a beautiful thing, and something I crave. We are sustained by it often and no words need be spoken during these moments. As I sat there restoring a sense of peace to my heart and mind I became aware of all the beauty around me. The velvet night. The power of a storm. The tree frogs and myriad insects all joining together effortlessly in a song. His hand in mine. The aroma of his cigar wafting on the air....yes, this woman enjoys the whiff of a good cigar. Two kittens playing at our feet. The stars peeking in and out amongst the clouds. Country tranquility at it's finest. My body began to relax, my mind began to unwind, my heart began to beat gently. I watched the lightening in the clouds. It was awesome in the way the word was meant to be used. AWEsome. The thought that seeped into my mind was very clear, this very energy contained within those clouds was the very same energy that flows through all of life. And if I can sit and experience the absolute beauty and rhythm and harmony of the night, the storm, the perfect sense it all made.....then I can experience that same energy and rhythm and power in my life as well. It's all so much bigger then we are! Nature in Her loveliness, Her fierceness, Her flow. If there is a power that governs that, then there is a power that governs me. And within those moments I felt I was able to lay down the burdens of the day. I felt I could loosen the grip on all that I try to juggle....all the times I wish people were different (a futile exercise), all the meanness and ugliness of the world....it was not my problem. I could lay it down. I could lay it, them, whatever it was....down. Whoever they are, whatever they did.....lay them down and walk away.

So this post is about faith, whatever that means to you...and it's all good. It's all perfect, really. Just surrender or offer up your burden at the alter of your own unique personal faith. Personally, I usually find my faith restored when I'm in nature, when I am at one with the energy flowing through the lightening, the energy that governs the night, the seasons, embryos, seeds, rivers, the tide. Perfect harmony. Once you tap into it, you will never leave it again for long. You may forget about for a while when you're stressing and striving and worrying, but lay that all down. Loosen your grip. Let it go.

When we can get ourselves out of the way, the swift and ever present love that binds all of life together will take over. At least, you will feel better in giving up the weight of the struggle. Then wait. Rest. Come back with fresh eyes and see how it all looks then. And always remember.....repeat as needed.

May the power of nature return you to your balanced self. May you feel your limbs lighten and your heart swell with gratitude, may you be filled with what you need....and none of what you don't. Lay it on down.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Respite

I have been at the beach for the last week. A few days before that I was in the mountains. You see, my man and I needed to get away. The mountains called, his bagpipes played, the libations flowed. Then we were led to heed the siren call of the water. There's nothing like getting away from the daily routines of life to set you right with the world again. To actually shut out the things you choose to shut out of your life is a necessity sometimes. But what if you can't because of time constraints and finances? I know about this. Last year I didn't get to go anywhere. In years prior, in my former unhappy life, I got to take vacations every summer with my family. While they were always welcome and usually (temporarily) wonderful, they lacked a real sense of respite.....that was due to the unhappy marriage part, and that's already been hashed out here, you can read about it if you like by going back to the older posts before January 2011, but since January this blog has been about new life and new adventures and living at your highest vibration. But when the money that bought the vacations was suddenly gone from my life last summer, I had to figure out a way to satisfy the "gotta-get-away-itch". And here's what I did:

I camped in the back yard with my little girl at my side. We slept under the stars, and made S'mores. A lot. We learned the flowers, we stayed together, and we went slow. I taught my little one to meditate....yes, it's possible to teach a six year old to sit still long enough in order to tell the Universe what her young concerns are, and then to send a blessing to the people in her life. We looked for and found every free outdoor event and nature trail our area offered. We got suntanned and our legs got strong. We had friends that invited us often to come over and sit by their fire pit. We listened endlessly to the comforting sounds of crickets in the night. They would tell us we were going to be alright. The summer nights cradled my hopes and fears....as I cradled my little girl. We picked berries at a farm that somehow just knew the weary looking mother and her little girl probably needed the comfort and safety of their family farm, and they gave us extra berries, more then we could hold in the plastic grocery bags we brought....so they gave a flat....for free. I learned how to make ice cream last summer. Custard based ice cream, and if you haven't had a custard based blackberry ice cream, well, you haven't had ice cream! Just sayin'. We were allowed access to a neighborhood pool, we spent endless hours in the water. We met other like-minded families that seemed to take a liking to us, and our friend base just grew and grew. As we stretched ourselves, as I allowed myself to reach out to others, a community of caring people came into our lives. We found the respite and the relaxation we so desperately needed last summer.

If money holds you back from your dream vacation, then reframe what vacation means. I'm an armchair traveler now. I've been to Europe several times, China once, and to my beloved Ireland four times. But these days I collect brochures and travel guides from the destinations I would love to visit. I am signaling the Universe that I am ready to open myself to what is possible. I don't need to know how it will happen, or when it will happen. All I know is that it will happen. Be creative with what you have. Look at your part of the world and plan a day trip somewhere. Stay near home, it doesn't have to be far, and it can be done inexpensively. I promise once you actually open yourself to the adventure that's waiting as near as your back yard, you will be signaling the Universe that you are ready for what comes next. That's just how it works. Embrace what you have, reinterpret your sense of "want", and then pay attention. Opportunities will arise, and you will find the relaxation and the respite....and the adjusted outlook....you seek. Last summer I found there was nothing like gliding silently in a kayak along the reeds and marshes of a waterway, and during last summer's healing time I was taken to a place of deep joy when I met some people that owned kayaks along a stretch of the Kentucky River. Through a series of "coincidences" (which began at that berry farm) I was able to take their kayaks out for a weekend.....with all the gear included, and with an instructor/Sierra Club guide to boot! True respite and a grateful nod to a Universe that took care of this woman's need for "getting away", was the order of the day last summer.

To get away....first go within. There is a deep well of resources available to you, both seen and unseen. They're free. There are no lines with screaming children to endure. There is no gas to be pumped first and then paid for from deep within your pocket. There is only what is possible. And if you can dream it, and see yourself doing it, you will find ways to experience your heart's desire. Respite will be made available to you in the most unexpected of ways. It's such a surprise when it does comes your way......just like Summer herself, when she comes laughing and bounding over the fields in June, you will be filled and delighted by all your senses, and paths will open up to you. And that's the best respite from the world I know of.....to be delighted with the simple pleasures of this life.

Wishing you a haven, an adventure waiting around the corner, and deep peace that surpasses our current understanding.

Until next time.....blessings upon you heart

Cindy

Friday, July 1, 2011

Synchronicity

Sometimes everything just works together for good. You know it when it's happening. You feel it all going your way. You're on a roll, completely expectant and not the least bit surprised when everything just works out as you planned. Those are the easy times, those are the times that we love to experience. But what about the days that start out, well, not so great? You know just what I mean, the days that begin on the wrong foot, the days that seem to take on a life of their own.....well, just flow with it. Seriously, one of the best things that can be done is to just relax and go with flow. A little trite sounding? Maybe, but surrendering to the moment holds tremendous insights and surprising outcomes. So, that day that seems to have a mind of it's own? Let it lead you to where it wants to take you. Can you trust that maybe things are on track? That maybe, just because it doesn't fit our agenda for the day, that maybe, just maybe there is a force at work that does know what you need? You never know when you are entertaining angels. If you are consistently putting your intention out there, if you have asked for guidance, or direction, and things seem to be going a different route.....then just go with it! There is great peace in letting go. There is great strength in staying open to the possibilities, and maybe just around the corner there is a whole new world waiting to open up for you. We can never really know where the twists and turns lead. I am living proof of this. Again and again I am astounded, and profoundly grateful, for the fact that I cannot foresee or predict my life. I couldn't possibly have imagined the good that has come my way, and on certain days, days when I thought everything had gone to hell in a hand basket, I found those days to be the most rewarding....if I stayed alert enough to really get myself out of the way.

There is a bigger plan at work in our lives. I know this as sure as I am sitting here typing as fast as my little brain can spew out my thoughts. Things that may seem like "bad luck" could very well be saving you from something far worse. I have found that in hindsight, when some time has gone by and we have loosened the hold we have on "outcome", we can see with crystal clarity that things really did work out for the best. A day in my life for instance, such as today, can start out rather trying.....(read that as being aggravated...a phone call, an email, something that threatened to destroy my peace).....and even as it spiraled out of my control, it all turned around by day's end. Inevitably there is person you meet, a "chance" encounter with someone, an offhand remark, a nagging thought that won't give you any peace until you acknowledge it, that can change the course of things in an instant. This happens all the time.

My life changed for the better today in series of fluke events, none of which upon waking this morning could I have even remotely predicted. My day was to go a certain way, it was planned, but everything else took over instead. What did I do? I went with it. I said, "Okay, let's see where this leads". And it lead me to a new job. And in the most perfect field I could have chosen. EVERYTHING clicked. The people involved, the timing, the right people being present at exactly the right time. EVERYTHING. I have been humbled once again. Now, let's see where this leads me. Let's see where this new job takes me.....surely there will be growth, and comfort zones will bust open (oh, those are the good times, when comfort zones are busted wide open). Will I be able to give up just a little bit more of my need to plan, to worry, to project outcomes? Yes. More and more I am learning that I can trust and relax....I'm going to roll with this. The high point of the day was when the person who hired me on the spot looked into my eyes and said, "We've been waiting for you". I nearly lost it right then and there. She saw in me what I was capable of. She saw in me the right qualities and qualifications that will bless us on both sides. BAM! Synchronicity. Love that.....

And it all happened today because everything, and I mean everything, got off to a "wrong" start! Or so I thought....

When life throws you a curve ball, don't panic. Maybe simply ask, "Where is this going to lead me"?....then trust you will be lead. And blessed. Giving up the personal timetable we sometimes have about when things "should" happen can be one of the most freeing things we can practice. You never know what guardians are indeed guarding you, guiding you, smiling upon you! Just as there is a power and a force that causes seasons to change, flowers to bloom, and embryos to become children, there is a force of nature at work in your life, and in due season. It's in a time and manner that nature and wildlife understand all too well, like when the sky is blue and the trees stand tall, then a storm blows in, they just bend and go with it. They ride it out to find when all has settled down, the landscape has been swept clean once again. Tap into that space.....and watch what happens. Flow.... love that.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Exquisite Moments

Summer fills me with a rapture that can stop me in my tracks. The hustle of life can take one away from noticing all the beauty around us at any given moment. I find it amazing how attuned my eyes and ears become when I take the time to get still and listen. And really look. Here's what I see and hear right now this very moment from the comfort of my bedroom. White lace curtains, an open window that pulls my gaze beyond and into the lush green of my backyard. I mean, lush. Blessed rain, while we sometimes wish you wouldn't stay so long, you do create magic when it comes to the greening of our world. There is a huge pine tree and dozens and dozens of trees that line the creek that runs just beyond my yard. It's a dazzling view of utter simplicity. The dappled patterns created by the lace curtains adds to the soft, blurred effect of the canopy of trees that shelter this place I call home. I don't hear any traffic, not a single engine racing by to get anywhere. Just the morning sounds. Birds. Birds, what a blessing they are! If I go deep enough within and silence the chatter in my brain, I can hear a dozen different bird songs. They sing to the morning, to each other....and to me. Add to this scene the vivid and sudden appearance of bright red as a cardinal flits by, sometimes pausing in the pine tree long enough for me to send him love. I adore cardinals. Now I'm listening to the sound of crickets, still engaged in their night time symphony of love songs, not quite ready to give it up to the daylight. The morning is cool, yet I can tell the humidity will be building soon. I particularly love the droning sound of a summer day in the country, or in a quiet patch of the yard, when all you hear is the buzz of bees and the drone of insects adding their distinctive summer sound to the chorus of this day. The air is heavy with the sound of life, and my heart is full for being able to enjoy it. There is the slightest sound of trickling water now that I'm aware of, it's running through the creek that is invisible from my view, but there nonetheless. Shortly, I'd say in another month, I'll be aware of the evening sound of frogs singing in the creek. Especially after a good rain they revel in the stream, just happy to be frogs. My heightened sense hearing now comes back in through the window into my bedroom. My beagle is snoring softly in the chair. Two of my cats are at the foot of the bed, their soft kitty sounds, not quite a purr, but a soft contented sound they make adds to the peace. They're just happy to be cats.

I'm happy to be a human BE-ing. I am happy that I can hear and see with the eyes of a woman who for too long never took the time to let nature move through me. As it moves through me it takes with it all the stress and worry that could possibly distract me from this moment. Exquisite moments such as these are free, my friends. This life pours forth more then we accept. To know that somehow I am part of a bigger picture, that my breath, my thoughts, my daily demeanor, all work to contribute to the beauty, or the chaos, of this life brings me to an empowering realization: It's always a choice to move through this life lightly. Last year when I was caught up in uncertainty, anxiety and at times the sheer terror of what my life would become, I read this quote: "Go lightly, stay close, learn the flowers". In those deep nights of my longing, confusion, and fear, I would pray for an answer, a sign, something to tell me that I would be alright. Contained within that simple quote were all the words and comfort I needed. Go lightly through life. Stay close to that which you love and treasure. Take the time to learn the flowers, to hear and see all that is given to us.

May your day unfold gently. May you find your quiet center and return to it often when anything would threaten to overtake you. Find what makes your heart sing, breathe in the morning air...and begin your day from that sacred space.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Love

This post is about love. Pure and simple.

You are loved. You are loved more then you know. I love you and I don't don't even know you, but something brings you here to read this blog. Kindred spirits, maybe? I don't know. But I love you. And that's that.

I absolutely believe with all my heart that each and every one of us is truly a gift to this planet. You were born to love, to receive love, give love, accept love, BE love. There are only two emotions....Love and Fear, that's all that really exists. Think about it, what is not love is simply a fear-based way of thinking. Fear covers every belief that is not loving, giving and gentle. Consider for instance how many times in a day we tear ourselves down. Other people can be mean, but we're ruthless in our own self-abuse. Even when we feel good about ourselves, and someone compliments us, what do we do? We make excuses, we apologize for something...."Oh, this old dress"? "Thank you, but I feel so fat today". You know what I mean. We downplay ourselves even when someone is paying us a sincere compliment. I know, I used to treat anyone who complimented me as not having the intelligence to know what they were talking about. It was a fear-based response. Fear of standing in my own glory and saying "yes" to the love being shown to me. I'm not quite sure where such a rationale came from, but for me personally, I simply didn't love myself enough. And here's the thing, dearies (and it's a universal truth), if we don't love ourselves, no one will ever be able to love us. They may try, but we will find a reason to downplay it, find fault with it, and ultimately destroy it. Are you doing this very thing now, this day, this moment? Are you belittling the attention given to you? Are you feeling unworthy? Well, been there...or I couldn't write about it.

Let's change that, shall we?

This is what I know: Love begins with you. Not such a big, surprising revelation, is it? We all know this. Love yourself first, but we don't. Let's begin to make a change here, let's begin to embrace all that we are, the light, the goodness, the joy....the darkness, the mystery, the stuff we don't understand about ourselves. Can you accept it and nurture it? Can you try to take a little piece of yourself, perhaps the wounded part, and just wrap your arms around it? Treat it like a hurt child. What would you do if you saw a child standing there, crying, scraped knee, no one else around? I don't care who you are, you would help that child, you would hold that vulnerable baby and soothe it. Can you begin to look at the parts of yourself you don't like and simply open your arms to them? This is self-love of the highest order. This is where your life long love affair with yourself can begin. And when you discover yourself, and love yourself, you will have found the love of your life. You have found the one true constant that has always been there waiting for you. You are your own beloved. *It's never been about anyone else* Then be prepared, because this is when the fun begins. Love will pour into your daily experiences like crazy. It's always been there, it's always been pouring forth more then has been accepted, but this time you will see it with new eyes. Trust me on this. Just watch.

Be blessed this day, be aware of how wonderful you are this very moment. And if you can't see it right now, at least trust it's there waiting for you. The beloved is holding Her hand out to you.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Sunday, June 5, 2011

What Really Matters

I want to share something with you. I had a health scare this last week. A very big, very frightening health scare, the kind that presented the possibility of becoming life threatening. I wrote the blog post titled, "Meeting Fear Head-On", the day after I discovered something was wrong. I wrote from my heart as a means to steady myself, as a way to reinforce my beliefs. I was rattled. I was shaking. I was already missing my life because I felt this sudden discovery could possibly take my life away. Through my expertly disguised panic, so as not to alarm anyone until I was diagnosed for sure, I became acutely aware of what I felt I could lose. The hugs and kisses of my child came immediately to mind, my heart-to-heart and surprisingly honest talks with my oldest daughter, the beautiful love and companionship I share with my man, and all of the beauty this earth surrounds me with daily....not the least of which is this achingly beautiful landscape called Kentucky. See, I had rebuilt a life for myself out of the one that died last year. I carefully filled it with all of the important things, and none of the things that didn't matter, or serve, or nurture me anymore. I felt the brunt of this terrible joke that I feared was upon me.....that I had come so far only to have to deal with this! I did get to a point last week though, where I could say with a fairly strong degree of certainty, that if things were going to change for me, if I was going to have to face an illness that could prove lengthly or fatal, then I would use the time to write and document the events in hopes of connecting with others going through the same thing. I humbly declared that I would treat whatever was going to happen as a gift. A gift that would reveal itself as I became immersed in it.

Well, thankfully I am alright. Gratefully, and with tears streaming down my face, I received the news that I was healthy, that the offending problem was benign. I took the deepest breath of air, and felt nothing but relief. As I walked out of the hospital I heard the birds for the first time in a week. I mean really heard them. They were loud and insistent! Even if I had walked out with troubling news to bear, the birds would have still been singing, because life goes on. And it would have, albeit differently for me, but life would have gone on, and endured and been a blessing regardless. But on this particular morning I really heard the birds singing, and the sun on my face was kissing me with a warmth and gentleness as tender as the most sensitive lover. The sky was bluer. The sounds of the city were sharp and clear and beautiful. This is what it's like to get your life back!

As I went to bed that night, as I laid myself down on what felt like the softest sheets in the world, (where did these come from?), I let myself go. I let my body relax and melt into my bed. My pillow felt like a cloud, (did it always cradle my head like this?). I felt gratitude for the four walls that held me that night. The moonlight shown dappled through the lace curtains. The night sounds coming from the woods outside were magical, and I cried. I cried for all the beauty of this life, all the creature comforts, and all the intangibles too. I realized that for everything I felt gratitude for, not one had anything to do with money. Or physical beauty. Or status. Or excess. What really mattered was love. I am a rich woman. I have abundance and authenticity. I have senses that have been heightened to a new level now. I thought they were pretty good before, but now they are precisely tuned to what matters most.

The song by Tim McGraw, "Live Like You Were Dying", comes to mind. What I would add is this: Live your life everyday. Hold those you love close to you. Allow for the frailties in others. Be kinder then you need to be, we never know what someone else is going through. Cut the ties with things that do not serve your highest good. You know what they are. Be brave and live with patience, ease, and a gentle heart. If this sounds preachy, forgive me. I preach to no one. Your path and mine may be very different, and I love that about all of us! But my message, if that's what you can call this post, is simply this....focus on what matters. Life is short in the grand scheme of things. The choice is ours daily. I wish you peace of mind and heart. I wish you peace in your daily life. A deep, full, unconstricted breath. The music of the spheres, the laughter of children, the sound of rain, the song of birds, the very air that fills our lungs. I wish you joy in this very moment. I wish you bliss. I wish you love. May this day be gentle with you.

**May I also add, for anyone dealing with a life threatening illness, I send you healing energy. As I sat among those at the hospital, those within the full grasp of dis-ease, I felt a kinship. The eyes do not lie, the pain contained within was palpable. We are all one. The sun and rain envelops us all equally, and without preference or judgment. May the blessings of this life fill you up and take away your pain.

Until next time.....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Changing Paths

You know when you're ready for a change. You feel unsettled, bothered by the slightest things, totally uninspired. Being uninspired is probably, in my book, the most soul deadening thing ever. To be uninspired by your life, or your work, is to slowly disappear. But thank goodness for "divine discontent". Yes, thank goodness for all those feelings of unrest, all those days you feel like you're going crazy, the days you bite someone's head off, the times you feel trapped. They are your compass, forever pointing you towards yourself, your home-base, your purpose. Finding ourselves in a dead-end anything is one of the most frustrating things we will experience in our lives. Nothing like feeling trapped, caged, held down, or held back. Nothing like feeling unappreciated, used, or used-up. We tie our sense of worth to so many outward things. And how can we not? It's how we live in the world. And in this world there will be people that will make you feel less then your brilliant self. There are jobs and relationships, children and spouses, bosses, parents, your church, your neighbors, your insidious inside voice, that will constantly remind you how unimportant you are. "Play small, think small, don't shine". Jeez.....

People and situations can be rough, but we're vicious on ourselves. So let's stop right now, let's stop with the put-downs and the negativity. Let's stop seeing this unrest as something to be avoided. Let's embrace it with out whole heart and dance with it. It's your compass. I can't stress that enough. We are so loved in this life, we are so magnificent that when we settle for anything less, over time, we will be nudged...sometimes violently shoved.... into the next phase of our lives. Or, you can forever be 9-5ing your days away, wanting something more. "Divine Discontent", how I love those two words! It is Divine to want something more. It is Divine to want to be all you can be, and it is Divine Discontent that will lead you there. Let it.

Take out a nice big pad of paper and pen. What do you love? What are you good at? And don't censor yourself. Nothing is too small, nothing is too trivial. Write out your heart's desire. This is just for you to see. Write it out. Imagine money being no object or stumbling block to where you want to be. Give yourself permission to design your life just the way you want it. If you can imagine it, you can make it happen. I promise you this, if you embrace the feelings associated with unease, boredom, or "I just don't give a flip anymore", you will be able to turn that into a positive flow in your life. It's a good thing you feel this way! You're desire for change is a first step, just keep moving through the feelings, don't stay stagnant with them, don't just sit there accepting the fact you are frustrated, move through them. We do need to take the first step, it doesn't magically happen. Knock on all the doors....and don't be surprised when an unexpected one opens! There is so much more then what we grasp at the moment. There is a bigger picture, a better way to be, a better way to live, a better way to enjoy life. And if you're living the life of your dreams, then more power to you! To tap into that level of being is a joy and a birthright.

"Use my talents. Lead me to where I can do the most good. Help me see and overcome the stumbling blocks I place in front of myself everyday". This is my prayer each day. I urge you to tap into that deepest place within yourself (where all answers lie) and ask outwardly too, humbly, but ask, and dream, and write it all out. Then knock on all the doors....and listen.

Your life is calling.

Until next time....blessings upon you heart

Cindy

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Meeting Fear Head-on

This is a big one for many of us. We all fear something, that creeping, insidious feeling that something is wrong, something is going to be wrong , or my favorite......everything is wonderful and I expect the bottom to drop out at anytime for no apparent reason. But where does this come from, this nagging voice that says,"Beware"?

I'm a firm believer in intuition. Absolutely without a doubt there is a voice....coming from your center, your gut, your place of "knowing", that says....be careful, or, this is the right thing to do, or, run! The trick is to know when it's your higher self speaking to you, and when it's fear disguised as truth. This has taken me years to decipher. Years. What I've learned through trial and error is that the "intuition" will feel right. You know when something feels right. You just do. Even if the intuition legitimately says to "watch out", it will feel peaceful. Because what comes with intuition is the assurance that there is an answer, a way out, or a way through.

For me, I have struggled with the false belief that I was just not good enough. That if untoward things were going to happen, they would happen to me. Definitely I can trace these false beliefs to my childhood. My mother's mantra was...."Be careful"! Don't fall. Don't run. Life is scary. Life is hard. "Go directly to jail....Do not pass Go, Do not collect two hundred dollars" The "jail" became a mental state for me, a mindset that took years to shake. I still shake it loose from time to time. This was her stuff, (bless her heart) not mine. But when you are a child you believe everything your parents tell you. We don't have the wisdom to know that what they bestowed on us was simply their own beliefs formed by their parents, their environment....and their own fear. I certainly am not suggesting to put the blame on our upbringing, because many people have had things occur in their life that had nothing to do with their childhood, events and tragedies that have beset the hardiest among us. But still, our response to such events is a learned thing, a knee-jerk response, a limited perception of the bigger picture. Well, time to step out and step up from the places that frighten us....

Step into your strength. Step into your capability. You can accomplish anything you want to. You can overcome anything this life throws at you. You can decide to catch it, or you can let fall by the wayside. Your choice, but feel the fear first. Let it come. Remember, "what we resist, persists", so there is no point in saying you are not afraid, but facing a fear, meeting it head-on, befriending it, will help you disarm it.

What is your deepest fear? What grasps you by the throat in the middle of the night, or suddenly during the day? The Universe cares for us so much that I have come to believe these moments are a gift. The bright light that shines on these uncomfortable feelings is a nudging, a gentle push, an urging to get past the fear, because we can. I've been on that cliff looking over the edge, trembling, saying, "Oh God, oh God, oh God", right before jumping off. I've uttered these words at the top of a roller coaster, screaming while I plummetted, no control, free falling, only to feel exhilarated when the ride ended...and wanting to do it all over again. That's the thing....it's invigorating to dive headlong into the places that scare us. When you get through one fear, when you spring the trap that holds you back, you get excited, you get encouraged by your own strength, and you become confident. It's your birthright.

Name your fear. Dare to speak it aloud. Face it. Work with it....it's your friend.

Until next time......blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

When It Just Keeps Raining

If you're a follower of this blog then you know I tend to look at life around me, from the mundane to the epic, then write about it to try and bring some kind of meaning to the things that go on....the hidden lessons I am forever attempting to unearth. Here's another, for what it's worth:

It's been raining here in Kentucky, for oh, I don't know, maybe 90 days straight now....give or take. Another grey day, a promise of sunshine, then rain, then more rain, then tornados, then flash floods, then rain. And then....more rain. Now the floods are starting to besiege our state, not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination. But....here's the thing....all this rain brings us the most spectacular Fall foliage down the road, in October, and we're going to have to wait for it. All this rain brings explosive growth in the landscape. Lushness like I've never seen before in all my life. The ground is saturated more the it needs, yet it takes it in, and when Mother earth can't take anymore she spills over onto everything.....like the unabated tears of our life we hold back and refuse to shed, until we we simply have to let go.

This is what I've been thinking about on these rainy days....personal growth is like Mother Nature. You have the clouds (the troubles), and then you cry, and the tears threaten to overtake you, and they do from time to time. Then you regroup, you take it in, you let it soak into your soul, and if you're aware enough, you grow out of the necessity that is in our human nature...to overcome.

I watched a tornado nearly come down on me about a month ago. Seriously the closest I have ever come to being in a tornado and possibly suffering tragic consequences. But I was mesmerized. The awesome power of such a thing is amazing to me to behold. Luckily I was in a place where I could have gone underground for cover if need be, but I was drawn to watch this thing above me. The swirling, rotating clouds, the blackness of the sky, the wind and hail. The violence of it held me captive for a few moments. And here's why: All I could think of was the sky represented human emotions, all confused and angry, storming about, threatening, then coming down suddenly to earth and tearing up everything in it's path. Like anger. Like fear. Like depression. Unless handled, these things will wreck a path of destruction in our lives as sure as any hurricane/tornado/or earthquake. I felt compelled to equate the whole scene to my own life....a while back. I knew I needed to handle my "stuff" or it would take over my life and destroy me, wipe me out, drown me....no two ways around it. So, out of that observation, and having lived it, I pose the question.....what is your personal storm? What threatens you, what darkens your days and churns up your life? It can either spiral out of control, or it can dissipate, just like the tornado did I witnessed that day. Thankfully.

Nature forever holds the key for me to heal my own life. And really, nothing needs to change outwardly in my life for healing to take place. It's an inside job, but the funny thing is when the inside storms are handled, the outward takes on a deep peace that transcends all trouble.

This is my wish for you today....handle the storms. Look deeply into their meaning in your life, be a silent witness to the fury that passes through. Like the strong oak tree that bends but does not break, stand quiet in the passing of all the would shake us to our core. Let the tears be shed, let the fears come to the surface, then like this Mother we call Earth, take it in, renew your landscape, grow with freshness and vigor. Live the seasons of your life in peace. The storms will pass, they always do. But if there is something deeper that needs healing, I hope you find the courage to heal it. Reach out and ask for all that this life provides....support from professionals, friends who care, a teeming universe full of unseen guardians that will rush to your side if called. Renewal will surely come. Your personal landscape can and will become lush with new life. This is my rainy day musing, and my prayer.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Sunday, May 8, 2011

In Praise Of Mothers Everywhere

I thank each and every mother out there who cares for a child....a home, a family, a pet, a garden, a kitchen, a bird with a broken wing, a friend in need, or her own dreams. Mothering is an innate gift and you don't necessarily need to have offspring to answer the call of mothering. Every time you tend to something, every time you open a window on a Spring day, fluff the bed pillows, put on fresh sheets, sweep your patio clean, brush a child's hair, put on a pot of coffee, or answer a phone call from someone needing a listening ear....you are mothering. Every time you cook, clean, pick-up after, check all the doors at night, leave a light on....you are mothering. Every time you touch someone's hand, hold a door open, drive with care, give the right of way, speak softly, stand up for truth, or stare down anything that would harm....you are mothering all that is good and necessary in this life. Sadly, many times this goes largely unappreciated....but you do it anyway, bless your heart! You are the glue in our society. You are that which would cause life as we know it to fall apart if you were not here. You are doing the toughest job there is. You are juggling, mastering, managing, conducting, orchestrating....all at the same time. You are tired. You get up anyway, seven days a week, rain or shine, sick or well, and you do it all over again. Do you know how important you are? Do you know there are angels and guardians, sages and ascended masters all waiting for your beck and call, for just a simple utterance from you that will send rushing to your side all the inspiration and help you need? Truly though, there are very few times we can actually call on other people and receive the physical help we may need day-to-day, so I take great comfort in the fact that I can summon strength from the unseen. This teeming Universe with all it's mystery knows about mothers! Ask, please, and you shall receive just what you need to finish the task at hand.

May you feel your magnificence today....and everyday. May you feel the warmth of sun, the gentleness of rain, the softness of air. May you take a moment to honor yourself, and those mothers that came before us, for no matter how imperfect they may have been, no matter what the nature of your relationship was....they got you here. Now. In this place of honor.

Take a deep breath, my dears. You are loved, known, considered sacred and worthy. You are beautiful by nature, radiant in your birthright, mighty in your presence, you are deemed the high honor of the title: "Herself"

In gratitude for the Wild Mother innate in us all. The One who knows. The One who understands. The One who loves us more then we can know. Thank you seems hardly enough.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

This Thing Called Spirituality

Just what is it? Often in years past, a whole lifetime ago really, I thought I knew what it looked like to be "spiritual". You lived in an ashram or high up on a mountaintop, you never got mad, you loved everybody, and you had a countenance of peace on your face.....all the time! That wasn't me by any stretch of the imagination! The spiritual path I set my foot on back in '93 led me to realize I needed to decide for myself that I was okay, and spiritual enough, just as I was. I had to shut out each and every societal and familial expectation of myself. I had to get comfortable with the idea of God being there for me and loving me in exactly the package I came in. I began to learn that within my imperfections, my perfection was revealed. Within the chaos of my life, peace was present. Out of a mouth that could spew profanities, came grace unbounded. I was a mess on the outside. I had just lost my mother to cancer, I had been beaten nearly unconscious by a half brother who was a raging alcoholic, and I was a single mother to a baby girl. Wow, even writing that now sounds so "reality show", the kind I abhor and will not watch for love, nor money. But it's how I came to find my spirituality, in a big way. I can site some books that helped, "A Return To Love" by Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer's books, and a few that seemed to call to me when I would browse the bookstore anxiously looking for that one book that would reveal everything to me....and make me whole. And while "A Return To Love" did more to turn me around then any other book, I still had to find my own answers.

So began my journey of discovery. We all take one, you know. Whether you are aware of it or not, we're all on a our own unique path, a path that will lead to some strange and wonderful, and frightening places. And by frightening places please don't assume I mean dangerous. No, it was the frightening places that helped me the most. Sort of like taking a Halloween monster mask off a precious child's face and seeing what was already there the whole time. But I felt the most on my own, and a little panicky, when I needed answers to specific questions. I kept looking on the outside at other people and how they lived, loved, what they read, what they ate, what they said, or what brand of shampoo they used. Superficial cues to a spiritual life, or so I thought. It was a true free fall when I had to decide for myself what I wanted to become. I knew I didn't fit any mold or formalized religious pigeon hole. I had to come into my own, as my own woman, and be serene in the knowledge that I was enough, as is, that I was worthy, as is, that I could be blessed, and in turn be a blessing to others, as is.

Well, fast forward eighteen years and here I am today writing this blog, fully recovered from a divorce, still a mess on some days, the mother of two extraordinary daughters, a massage therapist, a Reiki Master, an avid baker/cook and a pretty darn good friend, but I am also totally content in my sense of spirituality....and here's what I learned, here's my Aha! moment: It has nothing to do with anyone else. It only has to do with you and your personal belief system and/or your relationship to the God of your choosing....or none at all. What a relief when I had the clear understanding that I could walk a path that took me into the heart of the natural world around me, (where I found the most comfort and peace) and it was there just waiting for me to discover. Every tree, leaf, rock, the wind, the rain, the storm, it all became my Teacher. Living in the current season did the most to center my life, it allowed me to see sense and purpose in being here, it showed me I could rely on an invisible force that would lead, guide, and nourish me as assuredly as Spring follows Winter, and as seeds become luscious tomatoes. I could tap into this energy and it would make me whole. I could ask this energy (God, Higher Power, whatever you personally call this life force) to flip the switch on in my life, to open my eyes, to reach out in compassion, and not be afraid to do so for fear of rejection. I could also count on annoyances with people and situations that would lead me to a greater sense of peace and tranquility by learning from them. Some of the most untoward people are the most spiritual. I like to think of them as sages and masters, sent in our midst to teach us what we need to know about ourselves so we can transcend it, if we choose.

So maybe, just maybe, that earlier version of myself eighteen years ago? Maybe I was perfect as I was for someone else to "practice" on? Maybe I was placed among certain people to teach them to grow. Hmm, interesting thought, and ultimately comforting to think that everything was on track, on purpose, meant to be. Maybe I was someone else's teacher until it became my turn to to be taught. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but there is so much we don't understand when we're in the midst of our lives, all the whys and wherefores, all the questions and torments. Looking back it all made perfect sense, all of it, the pain (especially the pain) the lack of faith in anything, it was just perfect....it led me here....and your own life with all it's troubles and/or lack of purpose can lead you to a greater sense of peace and purpose by accepting yourself as being "enough". So rest my dear friends in the knowledge that you are enough, as is, right here, right now, this moment....and watch what happens, be ready for the insights. They're coming.

Walk your own path, be your own person, and do spend time in nature.....just let it all "be".

Until next time.....blessings upon your heart

Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Death of Bin Laden

I'm always looking for the spiritual aspect in every situation. This path I've chosen urges me to seek the higher response and/or reaction....even when someone who wore the face of evil dies. What can we learn here? Did I cheer when my daughter sent me a text to turn on the news? Did I let out a sigh of relief? Does this news make me happy? No. There are enough folks right this moment using plenty of expletives to describe this man, and feeling pretty darn proud to be an American this night. I will refrain from adding my voice to the loudness of this country's moment in history. If history has shown us anything it has been pretty clear that when one tyrant has met their demise, another will rise up. When 9/11 happened I had to ask myself what part I played in that event, and by that I mean in my own individual life. What did I do, or continue to do that may contribute to the terror of people in my life? A strong word to use, but I believe the big terrible things that happen in life are some type of outcropping from our individual lives, the choices we make, the resentments and anger we carry get projected onto the bigger screen sometimes. So I would ask myself.....had I ever scared someone with my anger, or destroyed the hopes and dreams of someone else? In one form or another I would have to answer, yes, at times in the past I have acted out of my own pettiness, we all have. Pretty tough questions, but really, I have wondered at the times in my own small world when I acted hatefully, either knowingly or unknowingly. Ever think how we are viewed by third world countries, and what is it about the US that inspires such revenge? Are we viewed and judged by our excesses? Our stupid preoccupation with celebrity, fashion, anti-aging? Do we appear like we're the enemy? Does the shady side of our Government command respect, or loathing? While I didn't fly a plane into the World Trade Center, I had to ask myself, how many times have I torn someone down out of my own attempt to feel better about myself? How many times have I committed an act of self-terrorism.....attacking myself, the part I didn't like and tried to destroy? Again, while no where near the scope of such an attack as 9/11, (again, these are just my musings) I still need to go within and see where I can bring the situation home. Anyway, my mind runs with questions like these when something of this magnitude happens, a way of making sense, I guess, or rather a way to grow and self-reflect.

So tonight, let the death of this man make me a gentler woman. Let this blow for world peace (doubting it will ever be really achieved though on the outside) be a cue to make peace in my own life with whomever I need to make amends with. Let me not celebrate the death of a such a man, but rather let me celebrate the renewal of my own efforts to live in peace. Simple minded thinking, you say? Maybe, but simple makes sense to me. Looking for the lesson in something and distilling the largeness of the world down to something I can relate to in my life is how I grow. I do not celebrate the death of any man or woman, no matter what they did in this life, but I look to the greater lesson here and take responsibility for my own actions, and I will try, once again, to endeavor to practice peace, quietness, forgiveness, self-reflection....and hopefully when I awake tomorrow our world will be a little safer. But then again, if there isn't an inner shift in how we deal with each other, and other countries, there will be yet another tyrant to rise up among us unchecked, once again. Let our work then be to live in balance, in compassion with one another, and in open-mindedness for individual change. Let our collective lives be one of self-responsibility and kindness. Someday it will reach critical mass.....and then the world will become a gentler place in which to live.

But it begins within....and it's a quiet thing.

Until next time....blessings (and peace) upon your heart.

Cindy

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Whisperings

The more I listen, the more I "hear". Truth speaks in a whisper, our innate wisdom gently points the way, and the part of ourselves that "knows", speaks softly. With all the noise in our daily lives no wonder we can feel overwhelmed, lost, isolated. I have actually shouted, "Tell me what to do"!!! Nothing. No response. Discouraging, to say the least.

But I have discovered something I want to share. You may have already found this out for yourself, but here it is: The inner urgings are always there to point us to our bliss, our purpose, our reason for being here. The inexplicable feelings I get, the out-of-the-blue ideas, or sometimes just a crazy little notion, IS the still small voice speaking to us! The noise of our lives tends to block out that inner voice, so I believe that our higher self is smarter then we are, it points the way by sending us these urgings. Have you ever had a thought that instantly makes you think, "Oh, that won't work"? Have you ever been led to go down a certain street, or speak to a stranger, or do something out of the ordinary? Do you do it? Or do you discount it? I'm guilty. I tend to think I am so smart that I can filter these things out of my mind. **I have a schedule to attend to, I am busy, I am an intelligent woman that doesn't have time for this non-sense** Ha! I kid myself....and it's humbling! This is Truth leading you! Make no mistake dear friends, our higher self will try to get our attention in the most creative of ways. Pay attention to the things that seem odd, therein lies the key to new opportunities.

We've all heard the stories where someone was led to suddenly change course, go a different way, hesitate or linger, or speak up in a situation, (all out of the norm things), just to find out that many times it caused them to avoid a dangerous situation, or it opened doors to a new relationship, etc. There are too many of these stories to not believe that our inner knowing has a better grasp on our lives then we do. I rest in that. I'm grateful I am not alone in my daily decisions and actions. Each morning I visualize taking the hand of my invisible companion, and I ask for guidance, then I don't shoot down anything that comes into my mind to do during the day.....within reason, I mean it's not like I'm going to eat a whole half-gallon of ice cream just because I thought of it! Not again I won't. But, if you are led to try something you've never done before, if you get the feeling that you need to act on some specific idea....by all means do it! The most pleasant of things can come of it, and you can find your bliss in the process. I know whereof I speak. Couldn't write it if I hadn't lived it!

Here's hoping that crazy little idea you get today will prove to be an epiphany for you!

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy