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Showing posts from 2011

New Year's Intentions

I don't make resolutions. Never have. What I have to come to realize as a much more powerful route to realizing the manifestation of my desires is simple intention. It's a subtle shift in focus. To be resolute means to will something into submission, to resolve to make something happen, it entails a certain amount of force and/or willpower. Intention, on the other hand, is gentle, direct, and moves with lightening speed. To intend something is a simple act, and acting "as if" you already have what you desire is how you create the next moment of your life, and the next, and the next week, and the next month, and so on. "Thoughts become things", so only focus on what you you intend to have.

I intend to let go of what I think my life should look like....and I intend to stop should-ing all over myself, as well! I intend to be of service to others, I intend to support myself and my child on my own, I intend to become all I am capable of becoming irregard…

Happy Christmas, one and all. It's a choice...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY FRIENDS!

This says it best:

"I salute you. I am your friend and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not. But there is much, that while I cannot give, you can take. No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven! No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instance. Take peace! The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. Take joy! Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty . . . that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven. Courage then to claim it, that is all! . . . And so I greet you, with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you, now and forever, the day breaks and the shadows flee away".

"Letter to a Friend" by Fra Giovanni, 1513

Until next time....blessings upon your heart

Cindy

An Inner Christmas

I would love to draw your attention to a website for just a moment: www.theinnerchristmasmovie.com. This is a soft place to land during this busy holiday season. You will receive the gift of twelve days of quiet exploration into the heart of the matter....and into what really matters. Be sure to watch the "Inner Christmas" movie that tells you just what this is all about. It's only purpose is to bless and comfort you.

I don't know about you, but I prefer the days after Christmas. When many are feeling a "let-down" of sorts, I am just starting the best part of Christmas, in my humble opinion. It's time to go within and ask, ponder, consider, and dream. It's a quiet thing. It's a gift you give yourself. And you get to revel in it for twelve days and nights!

These are the gifts I give myself during this sacred time of year: If there is snow....a moonlit walk, or an early morning just standing in the pristine whiteness of newly fallen …

Blindsided?

I lost my job last Monday. Or rather, I was "released" from my position as a massage therapist for no good reason other then sheer, undiluted greed and a pure lack of ethics. Just like that, I was told I was no longer needed. "Goodbye, get your things, you can go now, see ya...oh, and have a Merry Christmas"! Just like that, no lie. GOBSMACKED!

As a co-worker helped me get my things to my car, she expressed her mutual shock and dismay and disgust for these employers, (employers that had made her a shell of the woman she used to be), then she hugged me, and I drove away. I was shaking slightly. I wanted to cry, I thought I should cry, I attempted earnestly to cry....but I couldn't! I must be in total shock, I thought, it hasn't sunk in yet. But what came over me was a sense of relief. My shoulders began to relax, they were back down where they belonged, about six inches below my ears. I put on Christmas carols, and I drove back home with a lighter…

In This Season Of Excess...

"Let not your heart be troubled". If you are starting to feel the pressure of the holidays, read on. I've always found that to be such an odd phrase,though...."the pressure of the holidays". Holidays are supposed to be fun, aren't they? Parties! Visitors! Family and friends! Presents! Presents! PRESENTS! Oh wait, no pressure there, right? Take a deep breath...

In spite of myself I still feel the occasional panic when I think of the holidays. And now that I'm on my own, money is the potential panic button here. I've learned in years past the value of paring down the excesses in my life, but that came after I learned some lessons and saw my own desperate need to fill my life with "stuff". There was a time when I never had to think of money. It was just there. I didn't even need to keep track of spending in my checking account. Money was just always there. I became a little irresponsible in this area. While never becoming …

A Blessed Thanksgiving To All

I wish each and every one of you a very happy, safe, and blessed Thanksgiving!

If the only prayer we ever utter from our lips is "Thank You"...it will be enough.

You are enough. You are all you need. You are loved more then you know!

Be well...Be content...Be you

And until next time...blessings upon your heart

Cindy

With A Grateful Heart

Another year is coming to a close and with it comes a time of reflection for many. The stark barren trees and landscape can lend itself to moments of sadness, a bereft feeling, as if something is dying inside. This can also yield great moments of enlightenment as well. As the year ends is there anything you can actually let die within you? Perhaps regret, the loss of a former way of life, or despair? As the leaves fall I am always struck how the trees don't try to hold onto them. They simply, gently, let go and fall to the ground, and that's that. Within the stark contrast of a once vibrant tree now lies a secret life within. The tree is sleeping for a while, rejuvenating itself, doing it's inner work so it may once again burst forth with new life. The lessons here are not lost on me. Dying to the old so you may once again break forth with freshness and vitality is a beautiful process to behold. Do not fear letting go of that which no longer serves you. For the…

It's Been Awhile

I've been away from my blog for almost six weeks. Life happened and it took my focus away. I had all the pretty colored balls in the air, juggling them perfectly, not dropping a single one, then, my child got very sick. As she recovered from pneumonia, I got sick. Very sick. I was exhausted and my immune system must have been taking a beating for awhile. I don't normally get sick and that's something I have prided myself in for a long time. But I got sick, and I spent time resisting being sick until I couldn't muster the strength to ignore what was happening to me. But as I finally gave in to the thought that I might actually have to slow down a bit and take the time to get well, it dawned on me what a blessing it all was! It was time for me to be sick. Everything in it's season, a time for everything under the sun. So, I told myself as I lay on my bed unable to move...."Cindy, just give in to it, get down to the business of being sick and do it righ…

September 11, 2001

Many candles glow tonight.

Many hearts are still aching....

May those who mourn, be comforted. May those who rage, be soothed. May those who intend harm, be changed.

Namaste

Cindy

For The Love Of A Dog

My beagle has been a woman's best friend. Her name is Bayley and I've had her since she was seven weeks old. I was seven months pregnant with my little girl when I saw her in the pet store window in Lubbock, Texas on my birthday in July of '03. It was love at first sight, especially when I saw a little boy squeezing her and starting to give her a shake. I rushed in all belly and hormones and as politely as I could muster (it was also a hundred and five degrees outside and I wasn't thrilled when I woke up that morning) I said I was buying her. Three hundred and fifty dollars went on the credit card without blinking twice, and I walked out cuddling the most adorable snub-nosed baby beagle I had ever seen or held in my life. She was mine. Immediately the nay-sayers in life said I was crazy to take on a puppy when I was pregnant and about to give birth to a baby that would take over my life. Yeah maybe, but that's how I've always rolled, simply acting on a…

For All The Difficult People (may I be truly grateful)

They've got to be here for a reason. All the difficult, exasperating people that show up in life. At least that's how I choose to think about it. Nothing like a lovely day that's sailing along smoothly, even joyously, and then, pow, someone turns on you. So, if we are capable of drawing to ourselves certain events, emotions, life experiences, then we are capable of bringing to the forefront the ones that we need to help us get to that next level. For fear of sounding too deep, let me just say, I think when we are ready to learn how to cease being jerked around by other people's problems, is exactly when those same people enter the picture. Vividly. If I'm clear that I've done nothing to instigate a verbal assault, then I have to believe this person in front of me, trying my patience, is here to teach me something. "When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear".....and it's not going to be some kindly, sage old soul.....it's going …

When We Cry

....angels attend us. I need to believe there is a Divine love that supports grief. Tears are the outward depth of our love, our anguish, our humanness. I know I could never get through this life without the knowledge that I'm being upheld by a source and power greater then myself. In my greatest pain I have felt the unseen. When I fight the flow of life, everything goes wrong. When I go with it, it leads me to greater things, opportunities, people, events.....completely unimaginable good comes into my existence. In the meantime, in the wee hours of the morning, in my silence and aloneness and doubt, I sometimes cry. Trusting a source to carry us through does not come without doubt. Trusting that life knows how to take care of us better then we do does not come without tears. Feel the fear (pain, sadness, anger), and do it anyway, and after you have cried all the sacred tears you have within you, you will have allowed a space to open up where you can now be on the receiv…

Laying Down The Burden

Lay your burdens down on the alter of your personal faith, whatever that may be. Just lay them down, gently. They were never yours to begin with, so offer them the space to go back where they came from. This life is full of burden, no one needs to drive that home with any of us. The burden other people try to inflict on us will try the hardiest soul. Then there's the burden of too much . Too much sorrow. Too much stress. Too much mental unrest. Too much stuff.

It's all too much. I know....

My life gets to be too much at times. Too much juggling and balancing and rushing about to get it all done. In the last two days I have felt within my body the urgent need to lay down the burden of this life, if only for a little while, and if I decide to pick it up again I know it will have lessened in it's demand. When it's all too much, just lay it down. Da Vinci said when you are stuck, when you have lost your inspiration, your will...walk away. Leave it for three da…

Respite

I have been at the beach for the last week. A few days before that I was in the mountains. You see, my man and I needed to get away. The mountains called, his bagpipes played, the libations flowed. Then we were led to heed the siren call of the water. There's nothing like getting away from the daily routines of life to set you right with the world again. To actually shut out the things you choose to shut out of your life is a necessity sometimes. But what if you can't because of time constraints and finances? I know about this. Last year I didn't get to go anywhere. In years prior, in my former unhappy life, I got to take vacations every summer with my family. While they were always welcome and usually (temporarily) wonderful, they lacked a real sense of respite.....that was due to the unhappy marriage part, and that's already been hashed out here, you can read about it if you like by going back to the older posts before January 2011, but since January this …

Synchronicity

Sometimes everything just works together for good. You know it when it's happening. You feel it all going your way. You're on a roll, completely expectant and not the least bit surprised when everything just works out as you planned. Those are the easy times, those are the times that we love to experience. But what about the days that start out, well, not so great? You know just what I mean, the days that begin on the wrong foot, the days that seem to take on a life of their own.....well, just flow with it. Seriously, one of the best things that can be done is to just relax and go with flow. A little trite sounding? Maybe, but surrendering to the moment holds tremendous insights and surprising outcomes. So, that day that seems to have a mind of it's own? Let it lead you to where it wants to take you. Can you trust that maybe things are on track? That maybe, just because it doesn't fit our agenda for the day, that maybe, just maybe there is a force at work t…

Exquisite Moments

Summer fills me with a rapture that can stop me in my tracks. The hustle of life can take one away from noticing all the beauty around us at any given moment. I find it amazing how attuned my eyes and ears become when I take the time to get still and listen. And really look. Here's what I see and hear right now this very moment from the comfort of my bedroom. White lace curtains, an open window that pulls my gaze beyond and into the lush green of my backyard. I mean, lush. Blessed rain, while we sometimes wish you wouldn't stay so long, you do create magic when it comes to the greening of our world. There is a huge pine tree and dozens and dozens of trees that line the creek that runs just beyond my yard. It's a dazzling view of utter simplicity. The dappled patterns created by the lace curtains adds to the soft, blurred effect of the canopy of trees that shelter this place I call home. I don't hear any traffic, not a single engine racing by to get anywhere. …

Love

This post is about love. Pure and simple.

You are loved. You are loved more then you know. I love you and I don't don't even know you, but something brings you here to read this blog. Kindred spirits, maybe? I don't know. But I love you. And that's that.

I absolutely believe with all my heart that each and every one of us is truly a gift to this planet. You were born to love, to receive love, give love, accept love, BE love. There are only two emotions....Love and Fear, that's all that really exists. Think about it, what is not love is simply a fear-based way of thinking. Fear covers every belief that is not loving, giving and gentle. Consider for instance how many times in a day we tear ourselves down. Other people can be mean, but we're ruthless in our own self-abuse. Even when we feel good about ourselves, and someone compliments us, what do we do? We make excuses, we apologize for something...."Oh, this old dress"? "Thank yo…

What Really Matters

I want to share something with you. I had a health scare this last week. A very big, very frightening health scare, the kind that presented the possibility of becoming life threatening. I wrote the blog post titled, "Meeting Fear Head-On", the day after I discovered something was wrong. I wrote from my heart as a means to steady myself, as a way to reinforce my beliefs. I was rattled. I was shaking. I was already missing my life because I felt this sudden discovery could possibly take my life away. Through my expertly disguised panic, so as not to alarm anyone until I was diagnosed for sure, I became acutely aware of what I felt I could lose. The hugs and kisses of my child came immediately to mind, my heart-to-heart and surprisingly honest talks with my oldest daughter, the beautiful love and companionship I share with my man, and all of the beauty this earth surrounds me with daily....not the least of which is this achingly beautiful landscape called Kentucky. See…

Changing Paths

You know when you're ready for a change. You feel unsettled, bothered by the slightest things, totally uninspired. Being uninspired is probably, in my book, the most soul deadening thing ever. To be uninspired by your life, or your work, is to slowly disappear. But thank goodness for "divine discontent". Yes, thank goodness for all those feelings of unrest, all those days you feel like you're going crazy, the days you bite someone's head off, the times you feel trapped. They are your compass, forever pointing you towards yourself, your home-base, your purpose. Finding ourselves in a dead-end anything is one of the most frustrating things we will experience in our lives. Nothing like feeling trapped, caged, held down, or held back. Nothing like feeling unappreciated, used, or used-up. We tie our sense of worth to so many outward things. And how can we not? It's how we live in the world. And in this world there will be people that will make you feel…

Meeting Fear Head-on

This is a big one for many of us. We all fear something, that creeping, insidious feeling that something is wrong, something is going to be wrong , or my favorite......everything is wonderful and I expect the bottom to drop out at anytime for no apparent reason. But where does this come from, this nagging voice that says,"Beware"?

I'm a firm believer in intuition. Absolutely without a doubt there is a voice....coming from your center, your gut, your place of "knowing", that says....be careful, or, this is the right thing to do, or, run! The trick is to know when it's your higher self speaking to you, and when it's fear disguised as truth. This has taken me years to decipher. Years. What I've learned through trial and error is that the "intuition" will feel right. You know when something feels right. You just do. Even if the intuition legitimately says to "watch out", it will feel peaceful. Because what comes with intui…

When It Just Keeps Raining

If you're a follower of this blog then you know I tend to look at life around me, from the mundane to the epic, then write about it to try and bring some kind of meaning to the things that go on....the hidden lessons I am forever attempting to unearth. Here's another, for what it's worth:

It's been raining here in Kentucky, for oh, I don't know, maybe 90 days straight now....give or take. Another grey day, a promise of sunshine, then rain, then more rain, then tornados, then flash floods, then rain. And then....more rain. Now the floods are starting to besiege our state, not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination. But....here's the thing....all this rain brings us the most spectacular Fall foliage down the road, in October, and we're going to have to wait for it. All this rain brings explosive growth in the landscape. Lushness like I've never seen before in all my life. The ground is saturated more the it needs, yet it takes it in, and wh…

In Praise Of Mothers Everywhere

I thank each and every mother out there who cares for a child....a home, a family, a pet, a garden, a kitchen, a bird with a broken wing, a friend in need, or her own dreams. Mothering is an innate gift and you don't necessarily need to have offspring to answer the call of mothering. Every time you tend to something, every time you open a window on a Spring day, fluff the bed pillows, put on fresh sheets, sweep your patio clean, brush a child's hair, put on a pot of coffee, or answer a phone call from someone needing a listening ear....you are mothering. Every time you cook, clean, pick-up after, check all the doors at night, leave a light on....you are mothering. Every time you touch someone's hand, hold a door open, drive with care, give the right of way, speak softly, stand up for truth, or stare down anything that would harm....you are mothering all that is good and necessary in this life. Sadly, many times this goes largely unappreciated....but you do it anyway, b…

This Thing Called Spirituality

Just what is it? Often in years past, a whole lifetime ago really, I thought I knew what it looked like to be "spiritual". You lived in an ashram or high up on a mountaintop, you never got mad, you loved everybody, and you had a countenance of peace on your face.....all the time! That wasn't me by any stretch of the imagination! The spiritual path I set my foot on back in '93 led me to realize I needed to decide for myself that I was okay, and spiritual enough, just as I was. I had to shut out each and every societal and familial expectation of myself. I had to get comfortable with the idea of God being there for me and loving me in exactly the package I came in. I began to learn that within my imperfections, my perfection was revealed. Within the chaos of my life, peace was present. Out of a mouth that could spew profanities, came grace unbounded. I was a mess on the outside. I had just lost my mother to cancer, I had been beaten nearly unconscious by a ha…

The Death of Bin Laden

I'm always looking for the spiritual aspect in every situation. This path I've chosen urges me to seek the higher response and/or reaction....even when someone who wore the face of evil dies. What can we learn here? Did I cheer when my daughter sent me a text to turn on the news? Did I let out a sigh of relief? Does this news make me happy? No. There are enough folks right this moment using plenty of expletives to describe this man, and feeling pretty darn proud to be an American this night. I will refrain from adding my voice to the loudness of this country's moment in history. If history has shown us anything it has been pretty clear that when one tyrant has met their demise, another will rise up. When 9/11 happened I had to ask myself what part I played in that event, and by that I mean in my own individual life. What did I do, or continue to do that may contribute to the terror of people in my life? A strong word to use, but I believe the big terrible things…

Whisperings

The more I listen, the more I "hear". Truth speaks in a whisper, our innate wisdom gently points the way, and the part of ourselves that "knows", speaks softly. With all the noise in our daily lives no wonder we can feel overwhelmed, lost, isolated. I have actually shouted, "Tell me what to do"!!! Nothing. No response. Discouraging, to say the least.

But I have discovered something I want to share. You may have already found this out for yourself, but here it is: The inner urgings are always there to point us to our bliss, our purpose, our reason for being here. The inexplicable feelings I get, the out-of-the-blue ideas, or sometimes just a crazy little notion, IS the still small voice speaking to us! The noise of our lives tends to block out that inner voice, so I believe that our higher self is smarter then we are, it points the way by sending us these urgings. Have you ever had a thought that instantly makes you think, "Oh, that won'…