They've got to be here for a reason. All the difficult, exasperating people that show up in life. At least that's how I choose to think about it. Nothing like a lovely day that's sailing along smoothly, even joyously, and then, pow, someone turns on you. So, if we are capable of drawing to ourselves certain events, emotions, life experiences, then we are capable of bringing to the forefront the ones that we need to help us get to that next level. For fear of sounding too deep, let me just say, I think when we are ready to learn how to cease being jerked around by other people's problems, is exactly when those same people enter the picture. Vividly. If I'm clear that I've done nothing to instigate a verbal assault, then I have to believe this person in front of me, trying my patience, is here to teach me something. "When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear".....and it's not going to be some kindly, sage old soul.....it's going to be them. Just imagine if we could get to the point where it didn't matter what was said, or who did what to whom, we would be able to rest easy in the knowledge that we are so secure within ourselves (ah yes, it's an inside job) that we could sail through our life unaffected by someone else's drama. Drama loves to suck you in....like a good movie. A little trick of mine is to project the scene in front of me onto an imaginary screen and view it third person. Aren't we all good at looking into someone else's life and seeing exactly what needs to be said and done? Treat it like that. Impersonalize it. Yes, that's hard, I know, especially when what's coming at you is being said personally to you. But try it. Like anything that's worth being proficient with, it takes practice.
Next time your day is going along as you like it, the sun is shining, you're smiling, and all of a sudden someone brings their little black cloud and hangs it over your head, take a brief moment to say, "thank you". Just think of how it will be when it won't have the power to disrupt your flow, and if it does, the rebound period will be much shorter as you regain your balance and poise. What a gift that would be and what a skill to have! And the perfect people are waiting to teach us how to do it. I love it when people love me, there is nothing hard in that, it's lovely and I have much of that in my life, but typically when I need to move to the next level of peace, something will occur that will push me to it, or make me falter. And I don't like to falter, so I don't choose to stay gobsmacked for very long. It's not comfortable, or natural. Peace is natural. Peace flows like a river, over the big boulders placed in it's path. It flows around them. If there is a dip or a hole, it fills it up and spills over and keeps going. It keeps flowing with a grace and a power that is unstoppable. Yes, I look for metaphors in everything. It's kind of fun. It keeps me lighthearted.
Next time someone dumps on you, take a sidestep....be the river, (and I'm not suggesting you endure abuse, verbal or otherwise, no!), because even if you have to take action to remove yourself from their presence, do it, just don't hang onto the darkness the moment can stain you with.
A silent "thank you", a sidestep, a direct refusal to allow any mistreatment, a vision of flowing water....any and all of these can be done without you losing your poise, and they can propel you on. Just be the river, and keep your peace.
For this and the many lessons I am given everyday, I am truly thankful.
Until next time....blessings upon your heart