Sunday, February 27, 2011

A Higher Vibration

You can tap into it anytime. When you're down, tired, used up, sick, overwhelmed or even experiencing great joy, you can align yourself instantly with a frequency that moves at the speed of light.....and through your life, if you let it. There is a higher energy level that is always moving, always available, always present to us, and as a Reiki master I have felt it, used it as a means to facilitate healing, and allowed it to enter and transform my life. Some think of this energy as God, and I do too, but I also like to think of God as pure radiance, pure light, pure love, a pure vibrational frequency that runs through every living thing. Every blade of grass has an angel standing over it saying, "Grow"! And it does. Whatever you believe this life force to be, whatever name you call it, call upon it now to move into your life, then hold on, cause that's when the fun starts!

I have noticed that when I'm motivated by love, when I'm aligned with a frequency that moves effortlessly through me, some people will question my actions. Living your life with openness and embracing all who cross your path tends to alarm others. I never cease to be amazed at this. In thinking it through I've come to realize that perhaps it's a matter of control. It can be frightening to feel you are not in control of your life, or master/mistress of your destiny, and when we experience a free-spirt we tend to be suspicious. This I know....when I don't try to control things, they just flow, whatever it is, my life will just flow when I move at a higher vibration. This higher vibration thinks outside the confines of "the norm", it's kind of outrageous, and daring, and bold, and it can frighten people. "What's she up to"? Yeah, heard that one before! Well, keep 'em guessing, I say. Let your life bear the fruit of your motives....that's how people will know you, and if they still don't like it anyway. If people speak ill of your good works, do them anyway. If there are those who would try and keep you down, spread your wings and fly anyway. Sometimes its not for the weak-willed, sometimes it can be a lonely row to hoe, but allowing a force greater then ourselves to govern our life will reap many blessings, and you will eventually attract like-minded companions.

As a vibration undulates and moves, as it sends it's waves of motion over the surface of whatever is liquid enough to absorb it and move with it, it's far reaching rings will reach out and wash over everything in it's path. This is not some kind of grandiose thinking, or just pretty talk, it's how we can bless others with our actions. Remain fluid, let your best ideas flow, let your life vibrate at a higher pace, not because anyone is trying to be better then anyone else, but because we are all the same at the core. Because we are meant to shine, we are meant to bless, we are meant to live our best life....and at a level that is just spectacular!

And it all begins with a little vibration, a ripple, a thought, a good deed....let it grow from there.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart


Monday, February 21, 2011

People Who Annoy You

Nothing can pull me off center quicker then flat out meanness. Throw in a little self-centered, narcissistic behavior and I can get pretty bent out of shape....for a minute or two. My rebound time has definitely lessened over the last year, probably due to the fact that I am a much more centered woman now....but still a human being who is far from perfect. If you cut me, I will bleed. Words can cut deeper then a knife, this I know. The beginning of this week has served as a reminder for me that amidst great joy and happiness, and all the warm fuzzies a person can hold, there are those who like to mess with you. Separate realities can be totally irritating! Okay, this has to do with my former spouse. I am keenly aware, once again, of the fact that as a single mom I have to do a greater balancing act, and walk a tighter, higher rope sometimes in order to just function as a productive, contributing citizen in society. Divorces can, and do, create an imbalance of so-called power. Freedom is definitely lacking at times, and don't get me started on the monetary and income level differences. I needed to take a deep breath today, then I stated out loud for the Universe to hear, that I must be up to this challenge, and I am ready to reap the rewards for being, (yet again), a clever, sharper, and more loving woman then the person who wishes to jerk me around. It was a prayer of sorts, or rather a way for me to keep from throwing my cell phone against the wall!

Fast forward an hour and I'm back in the loving place. Not la la land, no, but in a place where I can think clearly and creatively. If I were still mad I might be missing that still, small voice of Truth that's wanting to guide me. And that's my point. So if you have to vent, do it quickly, then move on. Clear the pathways for guidance, and yes, forgiveness for the imperfect people that cross our paths....again, and again, and again. What was called for today was a "stillpoint", a stopover where I could just breathe and calm myself. It works. I promise. So while I may not have a clear answer this moment as to how I will remedy a certain situation, I do know that an answer will come. We are not given more then we can handle, and I believe this. My desire to give to my community, to be productive, and to provide for myself and my child will not be diminished. The ways and the means are supported by a benevolent source that will provide the way to function beautifully, and without hinderance.

Did you get aggravated today by someone who likes to pull your chain? By someone who is unhappy and scattered and duplicitous? Join the club, but let's not sit and gripe (too much) about our plight, but rather let's take it as an opportunity to put to silence that insidious voice that points and says, "If only they would (insert your choice of circumstances here), my life would be easier". The trick in this life is not allowing what anyone says or does to rob you of your peace and purpose. The lesson will keep repeating itself, and in many different guises, until we learn the lesson....or rather accept the gift it's holding out to us. And that, my friends, is worth more then all the money and status in the world. You will shine unfettered by what anyone else does, or says, or thinks. That is freedom of the highest order, and it's attainable. I can taste it....

Until next time....blessings upon your heart


Friday, February 18, 2011


I don't know about you, but my day can get so busy that it could easily spiral out of control. Being a single mom, a massage therapist and a jewelry business entrepreneur can make for some interesting days. I asked the Universe to use me, to show me where I'm needed, to use my talents....and boy, has it ever responded! Ask and you shall diamonds. It's a balancing act these days to be there for my child, for my home, my pets, chores, clients, associates, friends....then add in a fair amount of networking, phone calls, follow-ups, and well, it makes for a full day. There comes a time within these days to take a moment, or several if it's at all possible, and just become still. It's very underrated these days to just let yourself feel your breath moving in and out of your lungs. We hear about centering ourselves, just breathing, just allowing yourself to be.....but do we really do it? When I don't, I pay a big price. I lose things, I drop things, things get broken, I can't find my keys, I get all scattered, you know what I mean. Just stop. Stop. Breathe. Stillpoints are a gift to ourselves, the little moments where you honor yourself within the day. Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is worth getting all bent out of shape and frazzled to the point where you start to come undone. Sometimes a stillpoint in your day will lead to you actually stopping for a longer period of time, and this is highly recommended.....stopping long enough to recover. The risk you run in not stopping for a while is one day you may have to come to a grinding halt. That's when you have to slam on the breaks and skid into a mandatory "cease and desist". I'd rather take the moments within my day to center myself and gain perspective then to be forced into a breakdown.

These are the places I find for a stillpoint moment: while waiting at a red light, eyes closed, and the nice thing about this is the lovely person behind me is very good at giving me a toot of their horn to let me know to move on. Waiting to pick up my child from school is another biggie. I totally have to center myself and transition so I can be available in every way to my daughter when she bounds into the car. Another favorite is standing in line, any line, the grocery store line is full of stillpoint moments. I've let people go in front of me just so I can be still a little longer. When the sun hits my face, I stop. When the wind blows, I stop and breathe deep. When the rain falls I inhale deeply and turn my face upward. When everyone around me starts losing their cool, I close my eyes and silently bless each one. They've just momentarily lost touch with themselves. It's amazing to me how just one moment of blessing another person has the power to make me feel calm. Sometimes, and this is cool when it happens, the other people around you feel your vibe, and they automatically feel better too. The whole atmosphere changes, the tension melts, and it's because some good calm energy has been put out there. Let it come through you and out into your surroundings. Be a conduit for calm. I'm not perfect at this, far from it, but when I'm conscious enough to do it the benefits are huge, and far reaching.

Stillpoints are empowering, bottom line. They allow you to stand in your magnificence, and when you begin to feel that, you will just naturally be a blessing to those around you. It just takes one moment to turn things around. Thats all. Now just breathe in and out. Relax those shoulders, loosen your jaw, feel the tension leave your scalp. Feels good, doesn't it?

Now, gently move on with your day.....

Until next time...blessings upon your heart


Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Reached a milestone today. One year ago on this date, at exactly this moment as I type, my husband walked out on me....and his family....and his life as he knew it. I honestly can't believe that a year has gone by already, and that it's gone by this fast. I am keenly aware today just how much I have to be grateful for. I am also blessed beyond measure by this last year, with all it's overwhelming anxiety, stress and pain, it was a necessary year in my spiritual developement....and in my coming into my own as a woman. Not a bad thing to gain for going through hell. Yes, there are rewards in this life.

So while this may actually be an anniversary for me, I like to think of it as a milestone, the place you reach, pause, look back and say, "Wow". It will also serve as a touchstone for me in my life for years to come. Not a place I'll visit to mourn, or bemoan or ruminate over, but a place to touch lightly, to remember that the Universe will indeed see you through whatever it is you need to get through, a place to honor, give thanks, and then move on. I have repeated the theme of "Divorce as a Spiritual Practice" throughout my writings over this last year. And it bears repeating once more. The greatest lessons and the greatest potential for serious spiritual growth come from being devastated. There's something about having your defenses knocked flat, about being so broken open that it allows you to become pliable, become a new creation. That's the gift it bears....a new chance to get it right this time.

The theme of this blog changed the first of January, no more divorce's about living your best life. Sort of like Oprah's mantra....but without the glitz and feeling the need to give away cars and "stuff". What living your best life means to me is realizing you are enough, as you are, right now, and then from that assurance moving into whatever it is that makes your life fulfilling for you. I'm big on finding your own personal niche, irregardless of what others may think you need to be doing, or how it should look. I'm also here to say that when you find your own unique niche you will be supported in that special place so you can freely live out your purpose. When you are on track....and you'll know when you are, you will know when things feel will be opening yourself up to the people, the places, the things that will most assuredly come along to support your new found endeavors. There is so much at our disposal if we just open ourselves to it.

The downfall is that our personal vision can become clouded very easily. It's a slippery slope when we begin to believe the statistics and opinions of others, and the media certainly doesn't we begin to close up, and give up. I distinctly remember one year ago this week, the very dire prediction placed upon me, by a pastor no less, (no longer associated with that person I might add) that said I was going to have a very hard uphill climb, that life would be tough for a single mom, and that I would have to learn to live without. Really, seriously? Ha! But for a moment I felt as though I had received the "kiss of death". "Single Mother", being spoken as if it were the plague or something! Well, I rock being a single mom! I revel in the fact that I do it so well, and I am doing my part to elevate single parenting to a new level. That defining moment a year ago, that cold , hard assessment from a "pastor" serves me now as a touchstone. A place I can visit, remember, and give thanks I did not take that negative label on myself. This person had a purpose in my life. She was there to put negativity on me, just so I could throw it off. It was a chance to rise above the commonly held belief that life has to be hard when you've been turned upside down. Here is what I want to give other people who are starting over: I want to show them, through word or deed, they do not have to listen or accept the opinions or predictions of those so-called well-meaning individuals that like to kick you when you're down. They come a dime a dozen, those people that in order for them to feel better about themselves will cast all their insecurities on you . I find it amazing that as human beings we do that to one another....but hey, the gift is the chance to not believe it and to rise above it all, for it can all serve to move you along your path to greater fulfillment. So, in hindsight, again using it as a touchstone, I can see now that the people and places and events that went down early last year were all gifts from a very benevolent Universe that wanted me to thrive. It's all in how you choose to perceive it. To stay stuck and moaning over your plight is to give up. To throw it off and move through it (action is required here) is to signal the Universe that you are ready to be lifted. You will be lifted up and out of despair in the direct proportion that you choose to be. I wish I could take the hand of every person that reads these words and simply tell them: You. Will. Be. Fine. You will be more then fine, you will be magnificent in your own life...and on your own terms.

How may I serve you? Can you leave a comment or question that I can expand upon? I would like to interact a little more with my followers, if you're comfortable with that. You can leave your question or comment anonymously, if you like. Until I can have a local group setting established (one of my 2011 wishes) I would like to see if anyone wants to share their experiences with me here. There is a knowing that exists within these issues, and I'd like to hear your story.

Until next time...blessings upon your heart


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Thinking Outside The Box

Maybe should have titled this "A Year of Living Dangerously"......

This has been the story of my life, to think outside the box. It's considered dangerous because it's not mainstream, and if you do this people will think you are dangerous, but we can laugh knowing it's a good kind of dangerous! This type of thinking is so ingrained in me now that I can't imagine taking the straight and narrow (read that boring) way to do anything. The fun part is when you think you've expanded in all directions, that you've been unique in your approach, or downright outrageous (my personal favorite), you find you can go a little farther. Your imagination is an inexhaustible well of ideas. Priming the pump is what's key here. I hit walls all the time....I mean, all the time. When this happens I take it as a clue I need to access the deepest part of myself once again, readdress the situation, then pursue a new path. I pursue new paths often, I have to or I would knock myself out cold against that damn wall.

This last year I stopped licking my wounds, I stopped beating myself up with bricks, and I learned to scale the heights. Even though I still get scrapped knees, I'm clearing the walls with much more grace now. Just like going to the gym and lifting weights to get strong, scaling walls doesn't happen all in one leap at first. Prime your muscles, do your mental work...I call it my "light work"....ask for the switch to be flipped on that starts the current of electricity flowing into your life.....then leap. There is absolutely nothing you can't accomplish in your life. There is absolutely nothing you can't accomplish....I love writing that twice. The net will appear, and when it does you will bounce back if you fall, or you will be catapulted up and over whatever it is that's hindering you. Nets are springy like that.

This I know for sure: if you were to sit down and write out three, just three, ways of starting your life over (and think really out-of-the-norm kind of things here....just for giggles), you would simply be staring at a piece of paper when you were done, but act on one of those things, no matter the outcome, no matter if someone tells you "no", no matter if you're shaking in your boots, and it will lead you to another thought and another person, and another box busting idea. It's like giving the Universe the go ahead to assist you. You are actively saying I am ready. Ask and you shall's so true! Don't shoot down a single solitary thought you get. This is your deepest self, the part of you the knows what to do, guiding you to think outside of the confines of your life. How many times in one day do we get an idea, something we want to act on, and we don't do it! How many? Have you ever paid attention to the times within a day we don't extend ourselves to someone, or speak up, or simply brush away a thought as "stupid"? We ask for help and then we shoot it in the foot when it's trying to say, "Here I am, use me, I am the best part of yourself...I'm here to serve you". You never know where the inner leadings will lead you. Oh, and give up the personal time table about when something should happen, that's a big hinderance. I couldn't write these things if I hadn't lived them. I don't know much but what I do know I've seen played out in my life time and time again. I can look back now and see all the missed opportunities that I let go by, all the times I didn't heed my ideas....some were screaming at me....and I just stayed stuck. But even so, there were lessons to be learned during the "stuck" times of my life, and it's all been duly noted.

Heres a thought.....the more outrageous the idea you have, the more imperative it is that you do it! If it's really big, take it in small steps. Act on one thing, one thing, and the Universe will see it. That's all it really needs, just a nod, just give it the high sign you're ready.....but take action. All the wishing in the world won't get you anywhere. Visualize it, yes....but then act on the new ideas that will come into your life. Are you ready? Good, now go be outrageous!

Until next time...blessings upon your heart


PS.....puts a whole new spin on the "Year Of Living Dangerously" thing, huh?

Saturday, February 5, 2011

What's This Thing Called Love?

Love comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. It's all love, and it's all good. Where we get bogged down in this emotion is when we think we know how it should look. Preconceived notions, you know what I mean....expectations. Ugh! That's where we trip ourselves up big time. Get rid of them and free the people in your life to express their own unique way of loving you. This covers romantic love, friendship love, family love, you name it. "If you love me you'll do"....this, that, or the other. "If he/she loves me"....they would do this, that or the other. "If my kids truly loved me they would know how much I sacrificed". "If my friends loved me, they would give me" fill in the blanks. This is futile. Whether we say these things out loud or not, we will think them somewhere along the line, even if briefly. Ditch it.

Anytime we try to get out of another human being what we think we need, we lose that person to some degree. They can smell you coming. Neediness reeks. I personally need space to breathe, and when I am allowed the time and space to develop myself in all areas of my life I come back to my relationships much more centered, much more available, much more eager to please, to nurture, to love and be loved. My name on my birth certificate in Cinderella, no lie. It's a silly story how on the morning of my birth my father named me while my mother was in recovery, but for years I lived under the whole fairy tale aspect of my name. It was a hard go in school when my friends finally found out what my real name was. Ooh, I shudder to remember. Anyway, I lived under the idea that I would be rescued one day, swept up and away and into the sunset. Reality was anything but. Even in this day and age of enlightenment, little girls are still being conned into thinking love is supposed to look a certain way, feel a certain way......and give us everything we need. LOVE with a capital L will always give you what you need.....that's LOVE of a grander depth and breadth than the human love we all long for, find, lose, pine after, cry over, swear we'll never let happen to us again....on and on. *Fill in your own neurosis here* Basically the dramatic kind of love that is so avidly pursued in movies and on TV is something I shun.

One of the finest lessons I ever learned about love was this: You will be hurt when you think love should come to you in a cut glass bottle, and it ends up coming to you instead in a yellow box. Does that make sense? We think we know what it should look like, and when it arrives in it's own unique packaging, and doesn't fit our preconceived idea of how it should look, we then embark on the insane journey of manipulating it to suit our current needs. Therein lies the trouble most people encounter with this thing called love. I am a firm believer that we encounter the people and the situations that we need to encounter, and in direct response to what we need to learn about ourselves. There is nothing like a love relationship to expose your soft white underbelly to what scares the living crap out of you. Again, you usually can trace it back to your preconceived idea of what another person is supposed to be, and if you can recognize that and get rid of it you will be creating the space for your relationships....all of live, breathe, expand and be free.

This is the month where Valentine's Day in all it's money soaked, guilt inducing, heartbreak inspiring drama comes. It's a merchants holiday, period. I am personally disgusted that as a species, women will pin so much of their hopes on that one day as proof that they are loved, desirable, cherished....worthy. EEK.....that's all I've got to say. BUT, I adore chocolate, and any occasion that I can receive some is not going to be turned away. Same with flowers, same with dinner out, or prepared lovingly at home, or champagne and bubble baths with someone special, but to make it a once-a-year thing is just sad, and to make us feel bad because there may not be someone to share those things with is just our society's way of defining us. Last Valentines's Day was the last day I spent living with my former husband. He chose a spectacular day to walk out.....and I thank him for it. Nothing like having an illusion smashed to bits right in your gets your attention. The only thing I look back and regret now is that I didn't get any chocolate for my trauma! That day, my idea of "love" took a big turn into something that ultimately made me a much more expansive and genuinely loving woman. The people in my life now, friends and intimates, are the recipient of a much more enduring love, a love that comes from a source and a place that allows for individuality and freedom....and it's wonderful.

The greatest gift you can give those you love is the freedom to be who they are, and conversely, it will be the greatest gift you can give yourself as well. Set free the love you have in your heart for those you care about, let it flow, dance, shape shift....let it be. Love isn't supposed to hurt, and it won't if it's given the right to expand beyond the borders we have placed on it. Love will do this anyway, whether we let it or not, it's love's nature to not be confined. I like to live and learn without unnecessary I've learned to free my heart. And remember, what you free will return to you a hundredfold.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart....(and something chocolate to savor).


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Days It All Goes South

We've all had them, those days when you wake up thinking it's just a normal day, or better yet, when you've made plans that had you getting out and accomplishing a lot of tasks, going to appointments, or maybe even some pleasurable pursuits were planned.....and then it happens, the day rapidly deteriorates into something you have no control over. I had that kind of day last Monday. Without much detail, because really our own personal little dramas can be quite boring, I'll just say NOTHING went as planned. Everything became inconvenient, a royal pain, a series of unintended fiascos. "Okay", I thought, "breathe, relax", I even laughed for a moment at how perfectly everything fell apart! Now I know I don't have any real control over life, but I felt confident that surely everything would right itself in no time....on my timetable. Ha! Things went from bad to worse to scary. Still not going to go into detail, because my personal drama may not affect you the same way, and vice versa, so let's just say......from my perspective the day went to hell in a hand basket.

So I meditate, and I pray, and I center myself in the morning before I even get out of bed. I drink tea, I take long baths, I walk in the snow and the rain, I snuggle my little girl, I love on my kitty cats, I smile all the time....and I love to listen to my beloved Celtic music and classical music too. All these things keep me in a seemingly perfect state of tranquility.....unless and until my sense of self-importance gets in the way....then it all goes downhill. Glad to know I'm human though. Sometimes the Universe kicks me in the arse just to show me this point. Thank you....lesson learned, this time around.

What we deem as a bad day is just the ebb and flow of life, I know this now, a day out from one of the most maddening days I've had in a long time. Even in the middle of it, in my foggy brain somewhere, I think I knew that I needed to just let it all be. When I rush around too much, when I muti-task (in my opinion, definitely not a virtue), I usually get called up short by the little old lady driving way too slow in front of me, or the guy who has to go inside the convenience store and pay for his gas, and then stands in line with his hot dog and gigantic coke, when he knows I'm waiting to get to the pump, he knows I'm in a hurry. This is how self-important I can get, because it's all about me isn't it? Well, the answer to that my friends, is that yes, it is all about you. It's about a very benevolent Universe giving us opportunities to transcend the trivial, the things that fill our days with frustration, it's about being so loved by a greater power that it's constantly showing us we don't have to suffer our little dramas all the time. How's that for a kind and loving response to our prayers and longings that everything go our way? I came to this realization after seeing just how often frustrations came up for me in life....this isn't happening according to my timetable, or that person is behaving in a way that doesn't suit me or a particular situation, or whatever. It seemed to me there must be a better way around the ups and downs that so regularly showed up in my life. There is.....

It's called "releasing the outcome". So make your plans, set the clock, expect to get out the door on time, have your daytimer filled to the brim with appointments and meetings, but then allow some space for life to ebb and flow. I will go ahead and plan today and follow through, but I will not preconceive the outcome. I will move at a comfortable pace, I will allow space between my moments in the day. It sounds all so Zen-like, doesn't it? What I learned two days ago is that I simply cannot outline good enough. This is a play on words here.....I cannot outline well enough....and I cannot outline enough good for myself. It can be read either way. My terrible day, my missed appointments, my plans gone awry, turned out to be just the glitch I needed in my timetable for some really good things to happen. The person I so desperately needed to meet with Monday, and ended up cancelling with, led me to hooking up with a much more available and knowledgeable person today. My having to be home most of Monday allowed me to answer a call for help from a dear lady who really needed me to assist her family with a crisis that proved to be a blessing to all involved. Had I been out busily pursuing my agenda, I would have been unavailable to this call.....and would have missed an experience that was one of the most moving things I've ever gotten to be a part of. Blessings in disguise can be those things we think have gone awry. We never know what we are saved from when they occur....or where they are going to lead us.

So, my simple story of a "bad" day is just an example of learning to not let the ebb and flow of life get us all bent out of shape. Things happen for a reason. They just do. We are loved and looked after, I am convinced. Call it what you will....."divine providence", a guardian angel, or whatever you believe in......but everything is here for us to use and learn by. And we either learn by pain, or we learn by wisdom. It's our choice. And that is something we do have control we choose to respond.

Until next time....blessings upon your heart