Reached a milestone today. One year ago on this date, at exactly this moment as I type, my husband walked out on me....and his family....and his life as he knew it. I honestly can't believe that a year has gone by already, and that it's gone by this fast. I am keenly aware today just how much I have to be grateful for. I am also blessed beyond measure by this last year, with all it's overwhelming anxiety, stress and pain, it was a necessary year in my spiritual developement....and in my coming into my own as a woman. Not a bad thing to gain for going through hell. Yes, there are rewards in this life.
So while this may actually be an anniversary for me, I like to think of it as a milestone, the place you reach, pause, look back and say, "Wow". It will also serve as a touchstone for me in my life for years to come. Not a place I'll visit to mourn, or bemoan or ruminate over, but a place to touch lightly, to remember that the Universe will indeed see you through whatever it is you need to get through, a place to honor, give thanks, and then move on. I have repeated the theme of "Divorce as a Spiritual Practice" throughout my writings over this last year. And it bears repeating once more. The greatest lessons and the greatest potential for serious spiritual growth come from being devastated. There's something about having your defenses knocked flat, about being so broken open that it allows you to become pliable, moldable....to become a new creation. That's the gift it bears....a new chance to get it right this time.
The theme of this blog changed the first of January, no more divorce blog...it's about living your best life. Sort of like Oprah's mantra....but without the glitz and feeling the need to give away cars and "stuff". What living your best life means to me is realizing you are enough, as you are, right now, and then from that assurance moving into whatever it is that makes your life fulfilling for you. I'm big on finding your own personal niche, irregardless of what others may think you need to be doing, or how it should look. I'm also here to say that when you find your own unique niche you will be supported in that special place so you can freely live out your purpose. When you are on track....and you'll know when you are, you will know when things feel right....you will be opening yourself up to the people, the places, the things that will most assuredly come along to support your new found endeavors. There is so much at our disposal if we just open ourselves to it.
The downfall is that our personal vision can become clouded very easily. It's a slippery slope when we begin to believe the statistics and opinions of others, and the media certainly doesn't help...so we begin to close up, and give up. I distinctly remember one year ago this week, the very dire prediction placed upon me, by a pastor no less, (no longer associated with that person I might add) that said I was going to have a very hard uphill climb, that life would be tough for a single mom, and that I would have to learn to live without. Really, seriously? Ha! But for a moment I felt as though I had received the "kiss of death". "Single Mother", being spoken as if it were the plague or something! Well, I rock being a single mom! I revel in the fact that I do it so well, and I am doing my part to elevate single parenting to a new level. That defining moment a year ago, that cold , hard assessment from a "pastor" serves me now as a touchstone. A place I can visit, remember, and give thanks I did not take that negative label on myself. This person had a purpose in my life. She was there to put negativity on me, just so I could throw it off. It was a chance to rise above the commonly held belief that life has to be hard when you've been turned upside down. Here is what I want to give other people who are starting over: I want to show them, through word or deed, they do not have to listen or accept the opinions or predictions of those so-called well-meaning individuals that like to kick you when you're down. They come a dime a dozen, those people that in order for them to feel better about themselves will cast all their insecurities on you . I find it amazing that as human beings we do that to one another....but hey, the gift is the chance to not believe it and to rise above it all, for it can all serve to move you along your path to greater fulfillment. So, in hindsight, again using it as a touchstone, I can see now that the people and places and events that went down early last year were all gifts from a very benevolent Universe that wanted me to thrive. It's all in how you choose to perceive it. To stay stuck and moaning over your plight is to give up. To throw it off and move through it (action is required here) is to signal the Universe that you are ready to be lifted. You will be lifted up and out of despair in the direct proportion that you choose to be. I wish I could take the hand of every person that reads these words and simply tell them: You. Will. Be. Fine. You will be more then fine, you will be magnificent in your own life...and on your own terms.
How may I serve you? Can you leave a comment or question that I can expand upon? I would like to interact a little more with my followers, if you're comfortable with that. You can leave your question or comment anonymously, if you like. Until I can have a local group setting established (one of my 2011 wishes) I would like to see if anyone wants to share their experiences with me here. There is a knowing that exists within these issues, and I'd like to hear your story.
Until next time...blessings upon your heart