Disapproving Faces
There is a fact of life that took me a long time to accept. Namely, not everyone in your life will like you. I know. I am not liked by certain people, and they like to let me know this by the way they look at me. That "disapproving look". That, "Is she for real"? look. That, "Hmm, I don't trust her" look. I have no real idea why certain people do this, but this I know....I am blissfully uncaring of the opinion of other people. In fact, what other people think of me is absolutely none of my business anyway! To live one's life completely unbothered by the good opinion of other people is the way to go, and it took me thirty years to feel this way. Call it getting older, call it tolerance, or call it enlightenment, but don't take what others think personally, whatever you do. Don't let it take you thirty years to get this. It's best to just let people be, opinions and all.
If truth be known, someone else's opinion of us has to do with their own state of mind and heart, and that, my friend, is a very private issue. What is this thing about women (and men too) that wants everyone to "like" us? We want to be accepted among our tribe, we want to be popular, we want to be respected. I LOVE when people love me! Who doesn't? It's human to feel good when we are being adored. But enter the people that try our patience, then we're not so happy, and enter the people who don't like us, and we are truly confounded. I look for the beauty and goodness in everyone, yet I find most days to be a study of the human beast, and a course in the complexities of human nature. Most days I am amused, delighted, enthralled, fascinated...and confused. Are they placed in our lives for a reason? If you have read my blog before you will know I'm a big believer in things, people and situations being placed in our life for a purpose. A purpose that will lead you out of your pain, your befuddlement, and definitely test your ability to transcend all that causes strife. People are the best teachers, they are our mirrors. Does someone's treatment of you make you sad, mad or crazy? Then look within. Does someone's precious love and care and concern make you feel wonderful? Then still, look within. My goal in this life is to not let what others do, positive or negative, change how I feel about myself. I don't want to let another's opinion, again, positive or negative, dictate my outlook. I want to feel positive about myself irregardless of what someone thinks of me.
We are meant to be in community with each other, absolutely, and I do believe that we are put together with those individuals that will force us to grow. Either that, or we are just running around bumping into one another and simultaneously being overjoyed, or pissed off. I like to think of humankind as a rock tumbler. Put us all together and what happens? We definitely will bump into each other, but that's how rocks get smooth. They bump and grind (sorry, I don't mean THAT...lol) in order to hone the edges. It's the friction, if you will, that makes us polished. So, next time someone doesn't like you, for whatever reason....and please realize, maybe they are just having a bad day....think of it as a way to smooth your edges. It gets your attention, doesn't it? That feeling of unrest between people, that air of friction we've all felt from time to time, sometimes you can cut the air with a knife when it's happening. It's their stuff though. Always was. And it's your stuff too. And it's mine. But it's for a reason....so when you're not getting caught up in another's drama, or opinion, take the time to polish up your act. We're all just doing the best we can with who we are and what we currently know. So lighten up on yourself when someone acts as if they don't like you. I say a silent "Thank You" for yet another opportunity to practice non-attachment. It's a good thing.
Here's a big smile from me to you....I like you a lot....but my opinion really doesn't matter. Like yourself first, love yourself most, and it won't matter what anyone says or does or thinks....or what the expression is on their face. Approve of yourself, overlook human nature, and then move on.
Until next time....blessings upon your heart.
Cindy
If truth be known, someone else's opinion of us has to do with their own state of mind and heart, and that, my friend, is a very private issue. What is this thing about women (and men too) that wants everyone to "like" us? We want to be accepted among our tribe, we want to be popular, we want to be respected. I LOVE when people love me! Who doesn't? It's human to feel good when we are being adored. But enter the people that try our patience, then we're not so happy, and enter the people who don't like us, and we are truly confounded. I look for the beauty and goodness in everyone, yet I find most days to be a study of the human beast, and a course in the complexities of human nature. Most days I am amused, delighted, enthralled, fascinated...and confused. Are they placed in our lives for a reason? If you have read my blog before you will know I'm a big believer in things, people and situations being placed in our life for a purpose. A purpose that will lead you out of your pain, your befuddlement, and definitely test your ability to transcend all that causes strife. People are the best teachers, they are our mirrors. Does someone's treatment of you make you sad, mad or crazy? Then look within. Does someone's precious love and care and concern make you feel wonderful? Then still, look within. My goal in this life is to not let what others do, positive or negative, change how I feel about myself. I don't want to let another's opinion, again, positive or negative, dictate my outlook. I want to feel positive about myself irregardless of what someone thinks of me.
We are meant to be in community with each other, absolutely, and I do believe that we are put together with those individuals that will force us to grow. Either that, or we are just running around bumping into one another and simultaneously being overjoyed, or pissed off. I like to think of humankind as a rock tumbler. Put us all together and what happens? We definitely will bump into each other, but that's how rocks get smooth. They bump and grind (sorry, I don't mean THAT...lol) in order to hone the edges. It's the friction, if you will, that makes us polished. So, next time someone doesn't like you, for whatever reason....and please realize, maybe they are just having a bad day....think of it as a way to smooth your edges. It gets your attention, doesn't it? That feeling of unrest between people, that air of friction we've all felt from time to time, sometimes you can cut the air with a knife when it's happening. It's their stuff though. Always was. And it's your stuff too. And it's mine. But it's for a reason....so when you're not getting caught up in another's drama, or opinion, take the time to polish up your act. We're all just doing the best we can with who we are and what we currently know. So lighten up on yourself when someone acts as if they don't like you. I say a silent "Thank You" for yet another opportunity to practice non-attachment. It's a good thing.
Here's a big smile from me to you....I like you a lot....but my opinion really doesn't matter. Like yourself first, love yourself most, and it won't matter what anyone says or does or thinks....or what the expression is on their face. Approve of yourself, overlook human nature, and then move on.
Until next time....blessings upon your heart.
Cindy
What a beautiful post, and it is true. As a writer whose novel is out there to face reviewers, I need to remember this.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel like my whole life has been on review....and you know what? I don't care anymore! Live and let live, and that goes for letting their opinion be just that....THEIR opinion. Too much life to live to get bogged down!
ReplyDelete