I had decided I would rename my divorce. I didn't go through a "divorce", I went on a spiritual path,and in the State of Kentucky it lasted about nine months. It takes nine months to grow a baby too, and that symbolism is not lost on me here. I birthed a new me in nine months, and it's all relevant. It's about perception here folks. The negativity associated with a divorce doesn't have to apply to everyone. Somehow "divorce" means you're a loser. It somehow means you have lost something crucial to your life...and while losing someone you've loved is a big deal, (that's if you still loved the one who filed on you), I'm just suggesting here that it doesn't have to define who you are.
There is nothing like having a wrecking ball take out your life! It gets your attention, it wakes you up, it smacks you up side the head and out of your daze. If you ignored all the warning signs of trouble in your marriage, if you closed your eyes to infidelity, emotional abuse, or worse, didn't tell anyone you were being physically hurt, when the bottom finally fell out of your life, just know, it was meant to be. By that I mean, the forces at work in our life often know better than we do what we need to climb out of the mire of our lives. One way or another we are forced to grow in a direction that generally we would rather not deal with. That direction, that Divine Guidance, will lead you to a foreign land.....and right into the heart of yourself. Are you ready for the ride? No? Good, follow me.....
This is an opportunity to rewire your circuits, sort of a cosmic brain surgery, if you will. Once your mind had splintered off in every direction, it will slowly start to come back together and form a new you. Each of you will come back out of the stratosphere at your own pace and in your own way. But to start fresh in this life, especially if you are over 35, is a blessing not to be ignored! The hardest part for me, and many others, was giving up the notion we had about how our lives "should" go. We invested so much time and energy, and when it all went south, so did we right along with it. We went down with ship, and on dry land that is not a virtue. Can you begin to look up today? Can you reclaim a lost joy? Can you begin to amass together the things that mean the most to you? Does Christmas hurt this year? Well, I wish I could reach out and hold you for a while if it does. But let's do this instead....
Make your home a nurturing place today. Start small, it's okay to balk at this idea, but do something that comforts you. Draw around you little by little all the small comforts of this life: good coffee, hot chocolate, fuzzy socks, a soft blanket, old movies, a roaring fire, s'mores, a few magazines.....you get what I mean. Learn to revel in these things without anyone having to be with you. Life is better shared, and I think all these things are wonderful when shared, but the trick is to be comfortable in your own skin, with you. You are an amazing human being. You are a creation of the highest order. You are your own beloved. You are who you've waited for.
Just entertain for a moment the notion that your beloved, the one who makes your heart sing, is residing right inside you, right now, as you are. If you can come to love yourself in this manner, to think of yourself with this much tenderness, you will have learned the secret to everlasting love....it's always been you, the beautiful man or woman that you are, and simply forgot about. Your divorce can lead you to a full and complete acceptance of yourself and show you a love that will never leave you. Never. And that, dear friends, is what we all want.
Until next time....blessings upon your heart